Rob Colquhoun

National Abstinence Clearinghouse Conference 2008, Rosen Shingle Creek Resort.

 

Tom Lickona- 10 emtional dangers of pre marital sex

Ethical wisdom, strength of character, support system.

Condoms do not make you emotionally safe.

 

1. Worry about pregnancy and disease

2. Regret 2004 2/3rds wish they had waited. Girls more vulnerable.

3. Guilt. Freud misrepresented guilt. Sign your conscience is alive and well. 70% of those who had abortion went against conscience.

4. Loss of self esteem/ self respect.

5. Corruption of character- treat others as objects. Every choice changes the person we are.

6. shaken trust: once burned not burned again. Afraid of falling in love

7. Depression and suicide: those abstain least likely to fall into these traps. Attempted suicide rate for 12-16 year olds 6 time higher for those who have not abstained. Sex can take over a relationship like a cancer from good to bad. Sex can distort intimacy- emotions and jealously.

8. Damaged or ruined relationships.

9. Stunted Personal development. Independent self identity can be lost.

10. Negative effects on marriage. Infertility 1 in 6. infidelity. Increase chance in divorce

Inability to get rid of mental images.

 

10 rewards of waiting

1. relationships better

2. source of self respect

3. gain your respect

4. teach you to respect others

5. take the pressure off you.

6. clear conscience

7. help you find right mate.

8. good sex in marriage.

9. help develop virtues. Self control, responsibility, good person character

10. person of character will help you to attract a similar person of good character.

 

Look before you leap video www.lookbeforeyouleap.tv

 

sex like skydiving. Mixing sex and money particularly stupid.

Plan and instinct. Drugs and alcohol affect decisions about having sex.

Sex like superglue. Past does not equal future.

A marriage bed later filled with all previous sexual partners.

 

Making the case for abstinence: The medical perspective

 

Kim Dernovsek Dermatologist.

65million US citizen have STD. HPV with 1.5-13% of sexually active adults.

HPV 16 and 18 carcinogenic.

Cervical Cancer cases 2008.

Adolescent cervix is more susceptible to cancer.

PAP test to avoid cervical cancer. ½ of those diagnosed have never been screened.

Men relatively unaffected by HPV.

CDC does not recommend condoms as primary prevention strategy

Genital Herpes spread by kissing, sexual contact, skin to skin.

 

Difference between efficacy (laboratory) and effectiveness in condom use.

STD treatment guidelines 2006. Condom report July 2001.

 

Risk compensation. Increases risky behaviour- resulting in actual increased risk.

HIV prevalence rates in Africa 1990-2001 as condom rates rose (Botswana?)

22% HIV to 6.7% in Uganda.

 

Gay.Bi.Trans. Confused Scott

Exodusbooks.org

Homosexuality about identity and relationships not sex.

Deep longing for same gender connection.

Myth- there is a gay gene.

People do not choose to be gay

Overly close connection with mother/ distant from father/ development at puberty

Alienation from same gender peers.

Abuse, child molestation. Teasing

Lesbianism different to male homosexuality.

Sexual confusion

Breakdown of understanding about gender

Myth: once gay, always gay

Scared of being found out, living in hidden silence.

Typical modern mantras: “This is who I am, sex is how I receive love, I don’t have other options, reject homosexuality, reject me.”

Gay identified/ homosexual struggle/ Gender confusion.

 

Sexual attraction is something you experience not something you are

Seuxality is not fate we decide to control our bodies

Sexuality is just one piece of you, don’t define yourself by it.

Sexual experimentation – only adds to confusion. Never safe for your soul.

Not how you feel, what you want to become.

 

Love does not always have to be sexual, to be sexual, sex is not always loving.

Gay different? Because you are human- you are the same.

You are not alone.

The things you feel (longing, lonliness, confusion) Things everyone feels at times.

‘No choice’ - you have choice to respond to feelings. Don’t let feelings ruin your life.

 

‘Tolerance means celebrating homosexuality’ common modern mantra

Mature people disagree with friends. Tolerating is not the same as respect- means we can still disagree. A loving thing to do is sometimes to say we are making dangerous choices.

 

www.Exodus.to/files/abstinence.pdf

 

Guidance for faith based organisations in partnering with the federal government

Robert Siedlecki Jr

 

Equal treatment for faith based organisations – compassionate care – first measure under bush. No discrimination, disqualification or singling out.

Acting on constitutional guidelines, Direct federal funding not to be used for ‘inherently religious practices.’

 

Virginity Rocks; Keith Deltano

Need for comedy

 

COMEDY- creates intense teachable moments. Breaks down and diffuses opposition and barriers. Complex topics into long term learning benefits.

Comedy reduces the ultimate threat to any education moment: boredom.

Expose the myths: sex= love

                              Sex leads to happiness.

                              Real tough men have sex.

Condom failure rates. Love = unconditionally accepting someone. Dear of not having sex. STORIES not JOKES.

 

Molly Kelly- Where it all began

 

No to drugs and alcohol – but not sex?

Devil wants business and desenstisation

Parents/peers/teachers/media

Positive peer pressure

Main teen questions: how far do you go? How do you say no? What if you won’t be married?

Difference between affection and arousal/

Say ‘yes’ with your clothes.

Sex has been changed from being a noun to being a verb.

Secondary Virginity.

 

Keith Deltano Fighting back online

Media narrative

Internet strikes: Dell, Jetblue

Result

 

Absinence- viewed as an ineffective, intolerant construction of radical right that uses fear and shame to promote religious ideology.

“evidence abstinence works is robust and plentiful”

Waittraining.org

Teen-aid.org

www.projectreality.org

site needs teeth

Mathematica- an irrelevant study

 

www.technorati.com

www.blogsearch.google.com

www.heritage.org/research/welfare/lg2126.cfm

Include studies in every piece of paper.

Weighttraining.org

 

Change media narrative- embedded nonsense becomes unembedded

“Put the kids up front” on website

Parent workshops –advocates

Not numbers, correction, but dialogue.

Don’t ignore, engage with opponents.

 

FUNDRAISING

www.morganmeredith.com

why people give—emotion: love/hate/anger/frustration/greed/

What Do I get out of it?

Thank those that contributed.

Most important piece in mail is reply device.

 

THE DAMAGE AND DANGER OF PORNOGRAPHY:

Phil and Vickie Burress

 

Cleanhotels.com

Meet abuse victims face to face.

Satan created a lie about sex- emotional, spiritual, dimensions of sex.

Porn fuels sexualised culture… makes it harder to abstain.

Tragedy as marriages are destroyed. Women become sexualised in self image

Solutions: citizens for community values. 45 states offence for hard core porn

Citizen Action- ensure laws enforced.

White Collar—selling porn on NYSE

Conscious about advertising www.ccv.org

Billboards: code of ethics.

Not use mainstram media for sex services.

Call Advertisers hurting family, children, community.

95% kids exposed

Computer filter, put computer in central location in house, with maximum traffic.

Power of 1 – 1 can make a difference.

Women feel degraded, ugly and loss of self esteem.

Make a huge difference in community.

What young men think of women due to porn.

Snow on the roof does not mean that there is not fire in the fireplace.

 

Leslee Unruh and Molly Kelly

The message doesn’t change the messengers do

 

Connect with the humdrum of people’s lives with larger causes on their minds.

We must be the change we envision – Gandhi

Change world, also change yourself.

Show me a hero and I will show you a tragedy

Sacredness of sexuality

Sex from womb to tomb.

Happy, healthy virtue. Not just saying no.

Challenging to set higher goals.

Nothing so strong as gentleness St Francis de Sales.

God always decorates our interior if we let him.

Chastity- understanding sexuality.

-         enjoying it in healthiest way possible

-         God invented sex- we could have procreation by shaking hands

Burn out- ego is the problem.

St Joseph: involved in childhood of Christ.

Our God came into the world in the womb of a mother.

Parents are the best educators of children

This has been abdicated- busy, desensitisation. Love entails discipline (self discipline).

Power of pornography.

www.Truthaboutlargenot.com

 

Rick and Barb Wise HIV/AIDS education wrapped in a story

 

Faithfulness takes self control

Heart of a protector best for man.

Barb did not think about consequences of sexual choices.

Giving real hope for young people.

 

Star Search

Adventure with intention mollybarnheart.com

If you haven’t been that kind of girl you can start today.

Put your past behind. Attract real men, attract the right ones.

Character, integrity, self control.

Johnathon Butler: abstinence logical. RUSH generation.

Peer to peer: 1. facts. 2. Absinence no 1. message for safety. 3. Personal conscious choice influence people’s lives. 4. confidence: in decision and self. 5. passion. 6. consistency.

Inject confidence into kids. Be yourself without fear or pressure.

 

Who love can be shown w/o having sex.

Change generation one person at a time (mother Theresa)

 

Carrie Abbott: Sexual integrity, how to see the big picture.

Relationship model

Empower people to be whole in a sexually broken culture.

Sex      -           core identity      -           physical act

Gender-           intentionally assigned-   confused

Marriage-         divine metaphor-           optional/unnecessary

Children-          God’s blessing-            inconvenient

Parents-           Divine delegates-          unqualified

Family- Kingdom builder-         broken

 

Identity: what do I do with that Gift.

How express physical masculinity.

Rise or fall of civilisation – regulation of the 2 sexes. End of line with confusion with gender.

Sanger- matriarch of family planning

Hefner- salesman of the sexual revolution

Kinsey- archdeacon of sexology

 

Reach youth with power, positive message

Power of virginity – moth told them. Role trusted delegate. Parents not doing their job? I’ll do it.- No!

Parents need to be educators of children.

Protection in childhood- made male and female by design.

Built in design for man is to be a protector.

Fertility is a sacred gift with a sacred purpose. Women do not want to be conquered but wooed. God does not conquer but woo- we need to imitate him.

Proof of differentiation of 2 sexes is fertility.

 

Talk about truth- don’t concentrate on lies.

God adopts people – teach children this, especially ones that have been adopted.

Kids to have childhood but to be protected.

God’s mandate for sexual integrity vs counterfeits.

God’s view of children vs population control theory

God as author and sustainer of life.

 

www.pbs.org

what teens want

don’t know what they want –we need to tell them!!

Co-opting

Flyers, posters, tickets, news articles.

Myspace, PR professional press release.

Purepublicity.com purity matters

Clubvarsity webcast events

Diane Harper – HPV expert – vacinnating gives false sense of protection.

 

 

 

 

www.egionline.com

www.cortland.edu/character

sex, love and you, making the right decision

7 habits of highly effective teens.

Two Ethical Questions

Q1: If you knew a woman who was pregnant, and she had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis; would you recommend that she have an abortion?

If you said yes, you just killed Beethoven.

Q2: It is time to elect the world leader, and your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three leading candidates:
Which of these candidates would be your choice?

    * Candidate A associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.
    * Candidate B was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whisky every evening.
    * Candidate C is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and hasn't had any extramarital affairs.

Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt
Candidate B is Winston Churchill
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler

 

(Apparently the Beethoven story is a slight exaggeration on what really happened here as the story has been slightly adjusted).

In the book of Tobit, there is a beautiful prayer that Tobias makes by his wedding bed for God’s grace and protection. It is especially fitting as his wife Sarah had been in seven previous marriages and a demon called Asmodeus had killed her bridegrooms before they had ever slept with her! Tobias prays, “I do not take my sister for any lustful motive; I do it in singleness of heart. Be kind enough to have pity on her and on me and bring us to old age together.” (Tobit chapter 8:7).

In the book of Proverbs, there is an alphabetic poem on the perfect wife. It describes her attributes and virtues. Such alphabetic poems occur frequently in the psalms. The idealized woman concentrates on her usefulness to her husband: “advantage and not hurt she brings him all the days of her life.” Being ‘far beyond the price of pearls,’ the perfect wife is hardworking, earnest, generous, clothed in strength and dignity and keeps watch over the conduct of the household. (Proverbs chapter 31: 1-31).

Boy meets Girl Biblical Quotations (NAB)

 

John 14:15 If you love me, you will keep my commandments.

 

John 13:35 This is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.

 

Deutoronomy 4:5 Therefore, I teach you the statutes and decrees as the LORD, my God, has commanded me, that you may observe them in the land you are entering to occupy.

 

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, on your own intelligence rely not; In all your ways be mindful of him, and he will make straight your paths.

 

Proverbs 12:15 The way of the fool seems right in his own eyes, but he who listens to advice is wise.

 

Proverbs 24:26 He gives a kiss on the lips who makes an honest reply.

 

Proverbs 7:18 Come, let us drink our fill of love, until morning, let us feast on love!

 

Proverbs 15:1 A mild answer calms wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 19:2 Without knowledge even zeal is not good; and he who acts hastily, blunders.

Proverbs 7:5 That they may keep you from another's wife, from the adulteress with her smooth words.

Proverbs 31:10 When one finds a worthy wife, her value is far beyond pearls.

 

Proverbs 12:4 A worthy wife is the crown of her husband, but a disgraceful one is like rot in his bones.

 

Proverbs 20:4 In seedtime the sluggard plows not; when he looks for the harvest, it is not there.

 

Proverbs 29:22 An ill-tempered man stirs up disputes, and a hotheaded man is the cause of many sins.

 

Proverbs 15:22 Plans fail when there is no counsel, but they succeed when counselors are many.

 

Proverbs 21:9 It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop than in a roomy house with a quarrelsome woman.

 

Proverbs 21:19 It is better to dwell in a wilderness than with a quarrelsome and vexatious wife.

 

Proverbs 18:2 The fool takes no delight in understanding, but rather in displaying what he thinks.

 

Proverbs 11:9 With his mouth the impious man would ruin his neighbor, but through their knowledge the just make their escape.

 

Proverbs 5:15-22 Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well. How may your water sources be dispersed abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let your fountain be yours alone, not one shared with strangers; And have joy of the wife of your youth, your lovely hind, your graceful doe. Her love will invigorate you always, through her love you will flourish continually, When you lie down she will watch over you, and when you wake, she will share your concerns; wherever you turn, she will guide you. Why then, my son, should you go astray for another's wife and accept the embraces of an adulteress? For each man's ways are plain to the LORD'S sight; all their paths he surveys; By his own iniquities the wicked man will be caught, in the meshes of his own sin he will be held fast.

 

1 Corinthians 10:31 So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God.

1 Corinthians 6:18-20 Avoid immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the immoral person sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been purchased at a price. Therefore, glorify God in your body.

1 Corinthians 13:1 If I speak in human and angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal.

 

1 Corinthians 15:28 When everything is subjected to him, then the Son himself will (also) be subjected to the one who subjected everything to him, so that God may be all in all.

 

1 Corinthians 7:12-16 To the rest I say (not the Lord): if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she is willing to go on living with him, he should not divorce her; and if any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he is willing to go on living with her, she should not divorce her husband. For the unbelieving husband is made holy through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy through the brother. Otherwise your children would be unclean, whereas in fact they are holy. If the unbeliever separates, however, let him separate. The brother or sister is not bound in such cases; God has called you to peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband; or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

 

 

1 Corinthians 7:39 A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whomever she wishes, provided that it be in the Lord.

 

1 Corinthians 7:25-40 Paul’s Marriage Advice

Ephesians 2:22-3 Through him the whole structure is held together and grows into a temple sacred in the Lord; in him you also are being built together into a dwelling place of God in the Spirit.

Ephesians 5:3-4 Immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be mentioned among you, as is fitting among holy ones, no obscenity or silly or suggestive talk, which is out of place, but instead, thanksgiving.

Ephesians 4:26, 29 Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun set on your anger. No foul language should come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for needed edification, that it may impart grace to those who hear.

 

Ephesians 5:21-33 Be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is head of his wife just as Christ is head of the church, he himself the savior of the body. As the church is subordinate to Christ, so wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her to sanctify her, cleansing her by the bath of water with the word, that he might present to himself the church in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. So (also) husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one hates his own flesh but rather nourishes and cherishes it, even as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. "For this reason a man shall leave (his) father and (his) mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." This is a great mystery, but I speak in reference to Christ and the church. In any case, each one of you should love his wife as himself, and the wife should respect her husband.

 

Hebrews 13:4, 8 Let marriage be honored among all and the marriage bed be kept undefiled, for God will judge the immoral and adulterers. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

 

Hebrews 10:24-5 We must consider how to rouse one another to love and good works. We should not stay away from our assembly, as is the custom of some, but encourage one another, and this all the more as you see the day drawing near.

 

1 Thessalonians 4:3-7 This is the will of God, your holiness: that you refrain from immorality, that each of you know how to acquire a wife for himself in holiness and honor, not in lustful passion as do the Gentiles who do not know God; not to take advantage of or exploit a brother in this matter, for the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you before and solemnly affirmed. For God did not call us to impurity but to holiness.

 

Galations 3:13 Christ ransomed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written, "Cursed be everyone who hangs on a tree,"

 

2 Samuel 11

 

Psalm 102:27

 

Colossians 2:23 While they have a semblance of wisdom in rigor of devotion and self-abasement (and) severity to the body, they are of no value against gratification of the flesh.

 

Titus 2:11-14 For the grace of God has appeared, saving all and training us to reject godless ways and worldly desires and to live temperately, justly, and devoutly in this age, as we await the blessed hope, the appearance of the glory of the great God and of our savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to deliver us from all lawlessness and to cleanse for himself a people as his own, eager to do what is good.

 

Titus 2:3-8 Similarly, older women should be reverent in their behavior, not slanderers, not addicted to drink, teaching what is good, so that they may train younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, chaste, good homemakers, under the control of their husbands, so that the word of God may not be discredited. Urge the younger men, similarly, to control themselves, showing yourself as a model of good deeds in every respect, with integrity in your teaching, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be criticized, so that the opponent will be put to shame without anything bad to say about us.

 

 

Song of Soloman 8:4

 

Forgiveness 1 John 1:9 If we acknowledge our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from every wrongdoing.

 

2 Corinthians 5:17, 21 So whoever is in Christ is a new creation: the old things have passed away; behold, new things have come. For our sake he made him to be sin who did not know sin, so that we might become the righteousness of God in him.

 

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says the LORD, plans for your welfare, not for woe! plans to give you a future full of hope.

 

Jeremiah 17:9-10 More tortuous than all else is the human heart, beyond remedy; who can understand it? I, the LORD, alone probe the mind and test the heart, To reward everyone according to his ways, according to the merit of his deeds.

 

 

Exodus 33:19-20 He answered, "I will make all my beauty pass before you, and in your presence I will pronounce my name, 'LORD'; I who show favors to whom I will, I who grant mercy to whom I will. But my face you cannot see, for no man sees me and still lives.

 

 

Isaiah 1:18 Come now, let us set things right, says the LORD: Though your sins be like scarlet, they may become white as snow; Though they be crimson red, they may become white as wool.

 

Psalm  50:21 When you do these things should I be silent? Or do you think that I am like you? I accuse you, I lay the charge before you.

 

Colossians 3:18 Wives, be subordinate to your husbands, as is proper in the Lord.

 

Luke 14:28-9 Which of you wishing to construct a tower does not first sit down and calculate the cost to see if there is enough for its completion? Otherwise, after laying the foundation and finding himself unable to finish the work the onlookers should laugh at him

 

Luke 6:31 Do to others as you would have them do to you.

 

Luke 17:3-4 Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he wrongs you seven times in one day and returns to you seven times saying, 'I am sorry,' you should forgive him."

 

Amos 3:3 Do two walk together unless they have agreed?

 

God’s Affirmation Psalm 119:73 Your hands made me and fashioned me; give me insight to learn your commands.

 

Psalm 139:2 you know when I sit and stand; you understand my thoughts from afar.

 

Human history will culminate in a wedding Revelation 19:7 Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory. For the wedding day of the Lamb has come, his bride has made herself ready.

 

Matthew 19:1-9 When Jesus finished these words, he left Galilee and went to the district of Judea across the Jordan.Great crowds followed him, and he cured them there. Some Pharisees approached him, and tested him, saying, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause whatever?" He said in reply, "Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate." They said to him, "Then why did Moses command that the man give the woman a bill of divorce and dismiss (her)?" He said to them, "Because of the hardness of your hearts Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. I say to you, whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) and marries another commits adultery."

 

Matthew 5:31-2 It was also said, 'Whoever divorces his wife must give her a bill of divorce.' But I say to you, whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

 

Matthew 6:31 So do not worry and say, 'What are we to eat?' or 'What are we to drink?' or 'What are we to wear?'

 

Romans 7:2-3 Thus a married woman is bound by law to her living husband; but if her husband dies, she is released from the law in respect to her husband. Consequently, while her husband is alive she will be called an adulteress if she consorts with another man. But if her husband dies she is free from that law, and she is not an adulteress if she consorts with another man.

 

Romans 8:28 We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.

 

Romans 12:4-5, 10 For as in one body we have many parts, and all the parts do not have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ and individually parts of one another. love one another with mutual affection; anticipate one another in showing honor.

 

Romans 12:17-21 Do not repay anyone evil for evil; be concerned for what is noble in the sight of all. If possible, on your part, live at peace with all. Beloved, do not look for revenge but leave room for the wrath; for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." Rather, "if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals upon his head." Do not be conquered by evil but conquer evil with good.

 

Romans 14:19 Let us then pursue what leads to peace and to building up one another.

 

Jeremiah 1:19 They will fight against you, but not prevail over you, for I am with you to deliver you, says the LORD.

 

1 John 3:16 The way we came to know love was that he laid down his life for us; so we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.

 

1 John 1:8 If we say, "We are without sin," we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.

 

Phil 2:3-4, 14-15 Do nothing out of selfishness or out of vainglory; rather, humbly regard others as more important than yourselves, each looking out not for his own interests, but (also) everyone for those of others. Do everything without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine like lights in the world,

 

1 Timothy 5:1-2 Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters with complete purity.

 

1 Peter 3:1-4 Likewise, you wives should be subordinate to your husbands so that, even if some disobey the word, they may be won over without a word by their wives' conduct when they observe your reverent and chaste behavior. Your adornment should not be an external one: braiding the hair, wearing gold jewelry, or dressing in fine clothes, but rather the hidden character of the heart, expressed in the imperishable beauty of a gentle and calm disposition, which is precious in the sight of God.

 

 

 

 

Here are a couple of quotations from the Soul of the Apostolate. This book is venerated as a classic- written by Dom Chautard in the nineteenth century- it tells us of the importance of the spiritual life before emarking on apostolic works. 

Let me consider a few of these venial sins: spiritual laziness preventing me from raising heart to thee; inordinate affection for creatures; haste and impatience; nursing a grievance, fickleness, effeminacy, love of ease; readiness to speak of other people’s faults without any reason; dissipation, curiousity having no relation to the glory of God; talkativeness, tattling, vain and rash judgements about my neighbour; vain self complacency; contempt of others; criticism of their conduct; looking for admiration and praise and doing things for these motives; showing off what is to my advantage; presumption, obstinacy, jealously, lack of respect for authority, grousing; want of motification in eating and drinking etc. What a swarm of venial sins or at least of deliberate imperfections may invade my soul and deprive me of the abundant graceswhich thou didst reserve for me from all eternity.

Soul of the Apostolate, p215-6, Dom Chautard, O.C.R., revised edm 1959, Burns and Oates (London).

 

“No work takes deep root, or is really solid and lasting, unless the apostle has created the interior life in other souls. Now he cannot do this, unless he himself is well nourished in his interior life.”

 

Soul of the Apostolate, p117, Dom Chautard, O.C.R., revised edm 1959, Burns and Oates (London).

 

 

 

Consequentialist-

1. Helps to see the bigger picture- full extent of position and especially possibility to end war. The end justifies means in this sense. Henry Sidgwick- every individual seeks own pleasure.

 

2. would bomb for the sake of lives saved in hypothetical calculation of consequences. Speculative nature of consequences presents the dubious nature of ethical calculation. Ethics of act of murder not so important as the after effects. Corruptibible by hedonism and self interest, emotivism, corruption.

 

Virtue Ethics-

1. virtues, habits, character. Purpose of human life, happiness, difficulty of establishing nature of virtues. Reduces legalism, focus on person’s character. Conceptions of virtues- enables individual to discharge social role (homer), enable individual to natural/supernatural achievement of telos (Aristotle), achieve earthly and heavenly success (Franklin). Possession and exercise of virtue enables us to achieve goods.

 

2. not bomb- bad for character and person involved in dropping bomb. Not virtuous for person to kill others. Firm disposition to do good. Allows person to perform good acts. Give best for himself. Hero- admiration even in failure. Virtue habitual. Tends towards good with all sensory and spiritual powers. Truth, honour, just, pure, lovely, gracious, excellence, praise- thing about these. Virtuous life to become like God. Happiness, friendship, love, pleasure, honour, contemplation. Friendship, Justice, temperance, wisdom, courage, Aristotelian virtue

 

Natural Law

1. Objective moral absolutes. Best of goods for all. Complete well being perfection. Reason. Experience. Seeking happiness fulfilment. Respect nature way we were made. Reflect on who I am and what I seek. Foundational ways of life. Necessary way for fulfilling nature. Ethics of action not consequence. Universal application.

 

2. not bomb- wrong to murder. Universal applies everywhere. Not lead to happiness. Personal ethics wrong and law wrong. Wrong on virtues and values.

 

3. MOST USEFUL: natural law… embedded in human nature. Objective morality – is true to morals and not corrupted or tempted by justification by other means. Not embedded with duty or consequences. Divine law, transcendent, embedded in humanity. CICERO – true law right reason in agreement with nature. Virtue ethics – does not fully subscribe to objectivity – versatility a hindrance to true moral reflection. Example strongly conditioned towards consequences- encourages us to ignore the given objective morality of murder.

Consequentialism- good produced rather than the inherent rightness of action. Maximum happiness utility calculation of consequences Bentham Prinicples of morals and legislation 1789. humans seek pleasure avoid pain. Criteria- how measured. Ethics in quantative terms. Mill U 1861.- quantity- quality. Maximum benefit from min resources. Duration/intensity/certainty. John Austin (province of jurisprudence, 1832) –good when persued by all community.

+common sense, consequences, not transcendent/rel needed. Egalitarian/ public method, practical decision making. Maximising results determines morals.

-calculation inaccurate.goods incommensurable. Goods ambiguous- who decides? Pluralism no moral boundaries. Ignores acting person. No duty, obligation, mutual bonds closeness.

 

Virtue – Gk excellence nicoethics. Anscombe modern mphil 1958. ignore character feelings. Practice pleasure teacher right feelings. Virtues help happy life. All round wellbeing. Peter Geach Virtues 1977 need for things in life control guide passions. Hume passions needed useful to possessor, society.

+ Emhpasize person, moral education, treats life as whole, no principle to base decisions.

- virtue leads to unhappiness, attractive vice, good effects of vice, cultural relativism, good evil missing. Less concentration on objectivity of act concentration on person making decision.

 

Natural law: complete well being, perfection. What we should seek. Reason, nature, how we shall live. Experience base. CICERO de repulice ‘True law is right reason in agreement with nature. Applied universally and unchanging everlasting. Aq –participate divine law. Moral code naturally inclination.

+unity personal ethics law. Combination of best.virtue and values. Rational multicultural debate. Objective, moral absolutes.

- disagree principles implications. Nature ideology not imposition. Outdated theistic cosmology. Happiness Xn morality.transcendent horizon.

Sheepy References

 

Jeremiah 23:1-4

"Woe to the shepherds who destroy and scatter the sheep of my pasture!" says the LORD. 2 Therefore thus says the LORD, the God of Israel, concerning the shepherds who care for my people: "You have scattered my flock, and have driven them away, and you have not attended to them. Behold, I will attend to you for your evil doings, says the LORD. 3 Then I will gather the remnant of my flock out of all the countries where I have driven them, and I will bring them back to their fold, and they shall be fruitful and multiply. 4 I will set shepherds over them who will care for them, and they shall fear no more, nor be dismayed, neither shall any be missing, says the LORD.

 

Ezekiel 34

1 The word of the LORD came to me: 2 "Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel, prophesy, and say to them, even to the shepherds, Thus says the Lord GOD: Ho, shepherds of Israel who have been feeding yourselves! Should not shepherds feed the sheep? 3 You eat the fat, you clothe yourselves with the wool, you slaughter the fatlings; but you do not feed the sheep. 4 The weak you have not strengthened, the sick you have not healed, the crippled you have not bound up, the strayed you have not brought back, the lost you have not sought, and with force and harshness you have ruled them. 5 So they were scattered, because there was no shepherd; and they became food for all the wild beasts. 6 My sheep were scattered, they wandered over all the mountains and on every high hill; my sheep were scattered over all the face of the earth, with none to search or seek for them. 7 "Therefore, you shepherds, hear the word of the LORD: 8 As I live, says the Lord GOD, because my sheep have become a prey, and my sheep have become food for all the wild beasts, since there was no shepherd; and because my shepherds have not searched for my sheep, but the shepherds have fed themselves, and have not fed my sheep; 9 therefore, you shepherds, hear the word of the LORD: 10 Thus says the Lord GOD, Behold, I am against the shepherds; and I will require my sheep at their hand, and put a stop to their feeding the sheep; no longer shall the shepherds feed themselves. I will rescue my sheep from their mouths, that they may not be food for them.

 

 

God, the True Shepherd

 

11 "For thus says the Lord GOD: Behold, I, I myself will search for my sheep, and will seek them out. 12 As a shepherd seeks out his flock when some of his sheep have been scattered abroad, so will I seek out my sheep; and I will rescue them from all places where they have been scattered on a day of clouds and thick darkness. 13 And I will bring them out from the peoples, and gather them from the countries, and will bring them into their own land; and I will feed them on the mountains of Israel, by the fountains, and in all the inhabited places of the country. 14 I will feed them with good pasture, and upon the mountain heights of Israel shall be their pasture; there they shall lie down in good grazing land, and on fat pasture they shall feed on the mountains of Israel. 15 I myself will be the shepherd of my sheep, and I will make them lie down, says the Lord GOD. 16 I will seek the lost, and I will bring back the strayed, and I will bind up the crippled, and I will strengthen the weak, and the fat and the strong I will watch over; I will feed them in justice. 17 "As for you, my flock, thus says the Lord GOD: Behold, I judge between sheep and sheep, rams and he-goats. 18 Is it not enough for you to feed on the good pasture, that you must tread down with your feet the rest of your pasture; and to drink of clear water, that you must foul the rest with your feet? 19 And must my sheep eat what you have trodden with your feet, and drink what you have fouled with your feet? 20 "Therefore, thus says the Lord GOD to them: Behold, I, I myself will judge between the fat sheep and the lean sheep. 21 Because you push with side and shoulder, and thrust at all the weak with your horns, till you have scattered them abroad, 22 I will save my flock, they shall no longer be a prey; and I will judge between sheep and sheep. 23 And I will set up over them one shepherd, my servant David, and he shall feed them: he shall feed them and be their shepherd. 24 And I, the LORD, will be their God, and my servant David shall be prince among them; I, the LORD, have spoken. 25 "I will make with them a covenant of peace and banish wild beasts from the land, so that they may dwell securely in the wilderness and sleep in the woods. 26 And I will make them and the places round about my hill a blessing; and I will send down the showers in their season; they shall be showers of blessing. 27 And the trees of the field shall yield their fruit, and the earth shall yield its increase, and they shall be secure in their land; and they shall know that I am the LORD, when I break the bars of their yoke, and deliver them from the hand of those who enslaved them. 28 They shall no more be a prey to the nations, nor shall the beasts of the land devour them; they shall dwell securely, and none shall make them afraid. 29 And I will provide for them prosperous plantations so that they shall no more be consumed with hunger in the land, and no longer suffer the reproach of the nations. 30 And they shall know that I, the LORD their God, am with them, and that they, the house of Israel, are my people, says the Lord GOD. 31 And you are my sheep, the sheep of my pasture, and I am your God, says the Lord GOD."

 

Zechariah 13: 7-9

 

7 "Awake, O sword, against my shepherd, against the man who stands next to me," says the LORD of hosts. "Strike the shepherd, that the sheep may be scattered; I will turn my hand against the little ones. 8 In the whole land, says the LORD, two thirds shall be cut off and perish, and one third shall be left alive. 9 And I will put this third into the fire, and refine them as one refines silver, and test them as gold is tested. They will call on my name, and I will answer them. I will say, `They are my people'; and they will say, `The LORD is my God.'

 

 

Michah 5:3-5

3 Therefore he shall give them up until the time when she who is in travail has brought forth; then the rest of his brethren shall return to the people of Israel.

4 And he shall stand and feed his flock in the strength of the LORD, in the majesty of the name of the LORD his God. And they shall dwell secure, for now he shall be great to the ends of the earth.

5 And this shall be peace, when the Assyrian comes into our land and treads upon our soil, that we will raise against him seven shepherds and eight princes of men;

 

Jeremiah 3:15

"`And I will give you shepherds after my own heart, who will feed you with knowledge and understanding.

16 And when you have multiplied and increased in the land, in those days, says the LORD, they shall no more say, "The ark of the covenant of the LORD." It shall not come to mind, or be remembered, or missed; it shall not be made again.

 

Jeremiah 23:1

"Woe to the shepherds who destroy and scatter the sheep of my pasture!" says the LORD. 2 Therefore thus says the LORD, the God of Israel, concerning the shepherds who care for my people: "You have scattered my flock, and have driven them away, and you have not attended to them. Behold, I will attend to you for your evil doings, says the LORD. 3 Then I will gather the remnant of my flock out of all the countries where I have driven them, and I will bring them back to their fold, and they shall be fruitful and multiply. 4 I will set shepherds over them who will care for them, and they shall fear no more, nor be dismayed, neither shall any be missing, says the LORD.

 

Psalm 23:1

David.> The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want;

2 he makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters;

3 he restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil; for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.

5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of my enemies; thou anointest my head with oil, my cup overflows.

6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

 

Isaiah 40:11

11 He will feed his flock like a shepherd, he will gather the lambs in his arms, he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young.

 

Jeremiah 50:6

"My people have been lost sheep; their shepherds have led them astray, turning them away on the mountains; from mountain to hill they have gone, they have forgotten their fold.

 

Numbers 27:17

who shall go out before them and come in before them, who shall lead them out and bring them in; that the congregation of the LORD may not be as sheep which have no shepherd."

 

I Sm 17:34-7

But David said to Saul, "Your servant used to keep sheep for his father; and when there came a lion, or a bear, and took a lamb from the flock, 35 I went after him and smote him and delivered it out of his mouth; and if he arose against me, I caught him by his beard, and smote him and killed him. 36 Your servant has killed both lions and bears; and this uncircumcised Philistine shall be like one of them, seeing he has defied the armies of the living God."

 

I Chron 21:17

And David said to God, "Was it not I who gave command to number the people? It is I who have sinned and done very wickedly. But these sheep, what have they done? Let thy hand, I pray thee, O LORD my God, be against me and against my father's house; but let not the plague be upon thy people."

 

Psalm 100:3

Know that the LORD is God! It is he that made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.

 

Ben Sirach 18:13

The compassion of man is for his neighbor, but the compassion of the Lord is for all living beings. He rebukes and trains and teaches them, and turns them back, as a shepherd his flock.

 

Jeremiah 50:13

I will restore Israel to his pasture, and he shall feed on Carmel and in Bashan, and his desire shall be satisfied on the hills of Ephraim and in Gilead.

 

Jeremiah 22:22

22 The wind shall shepherd all your shepherds, and your lovers shall go into captivity; then you will be ashamed and confounded because of all your wickedness.

 

2 Samuel 5:2

In times past, when Saul was king over us, it was you that led out and brought in Israel; and the LORD said to you, `You shall be shepherd of my people Israel, and you shall be prince over Israel.'"

 

Psalm 95:7

For he is our God, and we are the people of his pasture, and the sheep of his hand. O that today you would hearken to his voice!

 

Zechariah 10:3

3 "My anger is hot against the shepherds, and I will punish the leaders; for the LORD of hosts cares for his flock, the house of Judah, and will make them like his proud steed in battle.

 

Ephesians 4:11

And his gifts were that some should be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, some pastors and teachers,

 

Come Holy Spirit, Divine Creator, true fountain and source of light and wisdom. Pour forth upon the shadows of our intellect the ray of your brightness, removing from us the double darkness of ignorance and sin, in which we may be. Grant us keenness of understanding, a capacity for remembering, method and ease in learning, subtlety in interpreting, skill in speaking. Guide the beginning of our work, direct its progress, and bring it to successful completion. This we ask through Jesus Christ, true God and true man, living and reigning with you and the Father, forever and ever, Amen.

This evening Fr Dermot has reflected on the wilderness and demons. How to integrate the shadow of our lives into ourself under the unifying principle of grace. Demons always exist for us and stuggle can be seen as a grace. Darkness is not the last word we experience- the desert is in fact a place where we can find the purification of our intentions and will. We would be naïve to be spared the desert altogether. Lent is a period where we can learn from fasting, penance and prayer to purify our hearts and mind.