Rob Colquhoun

In the book of Tobit, there is a beautiful prayer that Tobias makes by his wedding bed for God’s grace and protection. It is especially fitting as his wife Sarah had been in seven previous marriages and a demon called Asmodeus had killed her bridegrooms before they had ever slept with her! Tobias prays, “I do not take my sister for any lustful motive; I do it in singleness of heart. Be kind enough to have pity on her and on me and bring us to old age together.” (Tobit chapter 8:7).

In the book of Proverbs, there is an alphabetic poem on the perfect wife. It describes her attributes and virtues. Such alphabetic poems occur frequently in the psalms. The idealized woman concentrates on her usefulness to her husband: “advantage and not hurt she brings him all the days of her life.” Being ‘far beyond the price of pearls,’ the perfect wife is hardworking, earnest, generous, clothed in strength and dignity and keeps watch over the conduct of the household. (Proverbs chapter 31: 1-31).

1. One day Jimmy wanted to know what he was going to get for Christmas. He knew his parents always hid the Christmas presents in the attic. This year, he could bare the anticipation and waiting any longer. He scuttled up the stairs at the top of his house and unravelled a couple of presents with his name on. To his amazement he was to receive a scalextric racing set. He salivated over his wonderful new discovery and played with his new toys, dribbling with excitement. After a couple of hours, he returned the cars to the box and rewrapped the present.

That Christmas day, his parents were particularly disappointed to see that after such a considerable investment, Jimmy did not show the slightest ounce of surprise or joy over his new present- he looked and was decidedly uninterested. In opening his present early he had ruined the great gift, making it appear humdrum and uninteresting when it finally was to be cherished.

Likewise, in having sex before marriage, Jimmy had desensitised his attitude towards the marital act, emasculating and sterilising his ability to give true love. His inability to wait and cherish hardened his heart towards receiving the bliss of married love.

2. A father was about to let his eighteen year old daughter go on a date with Jimmy. The Father asked him: “Would you let a stranger drive your car?” Jimmy naturally responded that he would not do such a thing. The father then said that he valued his daughter far more than anything in the world and if there was the slightest bit of damage from their meeting he would hold him personally responsible.

During my visit to America I have been impressed by the professionalism, dynamism and vitality of some the parishes I have visited in Florida. I have experienced a deep sense of community, newsletters that are comprehensively long and the commitment to give considerable financial donations each week (some parishes having a collection of $20,000 a week). There are 20 people who work for the University chaplaincy of the University of Florida. Naturally, there are proportionally far more Catholics in the USA than the UK with 25% of the country being Catholic. Yet at the same time I wish we had this capacity for professionalism and dedication in many parishes in the UK. It is healthy to see many working full time for parishes rather than having an exclusive reliance on volunteers.