07/29/2008
Notes from Conference
National Abstinence Clearinghouse Conference 2008, Rosen Shingle Creek Resort.
Tom Lickona- 10 emtional dangers of pre marital sex
Ethical wisdom, strength of character, support system.
Condoms do not make you emotionally safe.
1. Worry about pregnancy and disease
2. Regret 2004 2/3rds wish they had waited. Girls more vulnerable.
3. Guilt. Freud misrepresented guilt. Sign your conscience is alive and well. 70% of those who had abortion went against conscience.
4. Loss of self esteem/ self respect.
5. Corruption of character- treat others as objects. Every choice changes the person we are.
6. shaken trust: once burned not burned again. Afraid of falling in love
7. Depression and suicide: those abstain least likely to fall into these traps. Attempted suicide rate for 12-16 year olds 6 time higher for those who have not abstained. Sex can take over a relationship like a cancer from good to bad. Sex can distort intimacy- emotions and jealously.
8. Damaged or ruined relationships.
9. Stunted Personal development. Independent self identity can be lost.
10. Negative effects on marriage. Infertility 1 in 6. infidelity. Increase chance in divorce
Inability to get rid of mental images.
10 rewards of waiting
1. relationships better
2. source of self respect
3. gain your respect
4. teach you to respect others
5. take the pressure off you.
6. clear conscience
7. help you find right mate.
8. good sex in marriage.
9. help develop virtues. Self control, responsibility, good person character
10. person of character will help you to attract a similar person of good character.
Look before you leap video www.lookbeforeyouleap.tv
sex like skydiving. Mixing sex and money particularly stupid.
Plan and instinct. Drugs and alcohol affect decisions about having sex.
Sex like superglue. Past does not equal future.
A marriage bed later filled with all previous sexual partners.
Making the case for abstinence: The medical perspective
Kim Dernovsek Dermatologist.
65million US citizen have STD. HPV with 1.5-13% of sexually active adults.
HPV 16 and 18 carcinogenic.
Cervical Cancer cases 2008.
Adolescent cervix is more susceptible to cancer.
PAP test to avoid cervical cancer. ½ of those diagnosed have never been screened.
Men relatively unaffected by HPV.
CDC does not recommend condoms as primary prevention strategy
Genital Herpes spread by kissing, sexual contact, skin to skin.
Difference between efficacy (laboratory) and effectiveness in condom use.
STD treatment guidelines 2006. Condom report July 2001.
Risk compensation. Increases risky behaviour- resulting in actual increased risk.
HIV prevalence rates in Africa 1990-2001 as condom rates rose (Botswana?)
22% HIV to 6.7% in Uganda.
Gay.Bi.Trans. Confused Scott
Exodusbooks.org
Homosexuality about identity and relationships not sex.
Deep longing for same gender connection.
Myth- there is a gay gene.
People do not choose to be gay
Overly close connection with mother/ distant from father/ development at puberty
Alienation from same gender peers.
Abuse, child molestation. Teasing
Lesbianism different to male homosexuality.
Sexual confusion
Breakdown of understanding about gender
Myth: once gay, always gay
Scared of being found out, living in hidden silence.
Typical modern mantras: “This is who I am, sex is how I receive love, I don’t have other options, reject homosexuality, reject me.”
Gay identified/ homosexual struggle/ Gender confusion.
Sexual attraction is something you experience not something you are
Seuxality is not fate we decide to control our bodies
Sexuality is just one piece of you, don’t define yourself by it.
Sexual experimentation – only adds to confusion. Never safe for your soul.
Not how you feel, what you want to become.
Love does not always have to be sexual, to be sexual, sex is not always loving.
Gay different? Because you are human- you are the same.
You are not alone.
The things you feel (longing, lonliness, confusion) Things everyone feels at times.
‘No choice’ - you have choice to respond to feelings. Don’t let feelings ruin your life.
‘Tolerance means celebrating homosexuality’ common modern mantra
Mature people disagree with friends. Tolerating is not the same as respect- means we can still disagree. A loving thing to do is sometimes to say we are making dangerous choices.
www.Exodus.to/files/abstinence.pdf
Guidance for faith based organisations in partnering with the federal government
Robert Siedlecki Jr
Equal treatment for faith based organisations – compassionate care – first measure under bush. No discrimination, disqualification or singling out.
Acting on constitutional guidelines, Direct federal funding not to be used for ‘inherently religious practices.’
Virginity Rocks; Keith Deltano
Need for comedy
COMEDY- creates intense teachable moments. Breaks down and diffuses opposition and barriers. Complex topics into long term learning benefits.
Comedy reduces the ultimate threat to any education moment: boredom.
Expose the myths: sex= love
Sex leads to happiness.
Real tough men have sex.
Condom failure rates. Love = unconditionally accepting someone. Dear of not having sex. STORIES not JOKES.
Molly Kelly- Where it all began
No to drugs and alcohol – but not sex?
Devil wants business and desenstisation
Parents/peers/teachers/media
Positive peer pressure
Main teen questions: how far do you go? How do you say no? What if you won’t be married?
Difference between affection and arousal/
Say ‘yes’ with your clothes.
Sex has been changed from being a noun to being a verb.
Secondary Virginity.
Keith Deltano Fighting back online
Media narrative
Internet strikes: Dell, Jetblue
Result
Absinence- viewed as an ineffective, intolerant construction of radical right that uses fear and shame to promote religious ideology.
“evidence abstinence works is robust and plentiful”
Waittraining.org
Teen-aid.org
site needs teeth
Mathematica- an irrelevant study
www.heritage.org/research/welfare/lg2126.cfm
Include studies in every piece of paper.
Weighttraining.org
Change media narrative- embedded nonsense becomes unembedded
“Put the kids up front” on website
Parent workshops –advocates
Not numbers, correction, but dialogue.
Don’t ignore, engage with opponents.
FUNDRAISING
why people give—emotion: love/hate/anger/frustration/greed/
What Do I get out of it?
Thank those that contributed.
Most important piece in mail is reply device.
THE DAMAGE AND DANGER OF PORNOGRAPHY:
Phil and Vickie Burress
Cleanhotels.com
Meet abuse victims face to face.
Satan created a lie about sex- emotional, spiritual, dimensions of sex.
Porn fuels sexualised culture… makes it harder to abstain.
Tragedy as marriages are destroyed. Women become sexualised in self image
Solutions: citizens for community values. 45 states offence for hard core porn
Citizen Action- ensure laws enforced.
White Collar—selling porn on NYSE
Conscious about advertising www.ccv.org
Billboards: code of ethics.
Not use mainstram media for sex services.
Call Advertisers hurting family, children, community.
95% kids exposed
Computer filter, put computer in central location in house, with maximum traffic.
Power of 1 – 1 can make a difference.
Women feel degraded, ugly and loss of self esteem.
Make a huge difference in community.
What young men think of women due to porn.
Snow on the roof does not mean that there is not fire in the fireplace.
Leslee Unruh and Molly Kelly
The message doesn’t change the messengers do
Connect with the humdrum of people’s lives with larger causes on their minds.
We must be the change we envision – Gandhi
Change world, also change yourself.
Show me a hero and I will show you a tragedy
Sacredness of sexuality
Sex from womb to tomb.
Happy, healthy virtue. Not just saying no.
Challenging to set higher goals.
Nothing so strong as gentleness St Francis de Sales.
God always decorates our interior if we let him.
Chastity- understanding sexuality.
- enjoying it in healthiest way possible
- God invented sex- we could have procreation by shaking hands
Burn out- ego is the problem.
St Joseph: involved in childhood of Christ.
Our God came into the world in the womb of a mother.
Parents are the best educators of children
This has been abdicated- busy, desensitisation. Love entails discipline (self discipline).
Power of pornography.
Rick and Barb Wise HIV/AIDS education wrapped in a story
Faithfulness takes self control
Heart of a protector best for man.
Barb did not think about consequences of sexual choices.
Giving real hope for young people.
Star Search
Adventure with intention mollybarnheart.com
If you haven’t been that kind of girl you can start today.
Put your past behind. Attract real men, attract the right ones.
Character, integrity, self control.
Johnathon Butler: abstinence logical. RUSH generation.
Peer to peer: 1. facts. 2. Absinence no 1. message for safety. 3. Personal conscious choice influence people’s lives. 4. confidence: in decision and self. 5. passion. 6. consistency.
Inject confidence into kids. Be yourself without fear or pressure.
Who love can be shown w/o having sex.
Change generation one person at a time (mother Theresa)
Carrie Abbott: Sexual integrity, how to see the big picture.
Relationship model
Empower people to be whole in a sexually broken culture.
Sex - core identity - physical act
Gender- intentionally assigned- confused
Marriage- divine metaphor- optional/unnecessary
Children- God’s blessing- inconvenient
Parents- Divine delegates- unqualified
Family- Kingdom builder- broken
Identity: what do I do with that Gift.
How express physical masculinity.
Rise or fall of civilisation – regulation of the 2 sexes. End of line with confusion with gender.
Sanger- matriarch of family planning
Hefner- salesman of the sexual revolution
Kinsey- archdeacon of sexology
Reach youth with power, positive message
Power of virginity – moth told them. Role trusted delegate. Parents not doing their job? I’ll do it.- No!
Parents need to be educators of children.
Protection in childhood- made male and female by design.
Built in design for man is to be a protector.
Fertility is a sacred gift with a sacred purpose. Women do not want to be conquered but wooed. God does not conquer but woo- we need to imitate him.
Proof of differentiation of 2 sexes is fertility.
Talk about truth- don’t concentrate on lies.
God adopts people – teach children this, especially ones that have been adopted.
Kids to have childhood but to be protected.
God’s mandate for sexual integrity vs counterfeits.
God’s view of children vs population control theory
God as author and sustainer of life.
what teens want
don’t know what they want –we need to tell them!!
Co-opting
Flyers, posters, tickets, news articles.
Myspace, PR professional press release.
Purepublicity.com purity matters
Clubvarsity webcast events
Diane Harper – HPV expert – vacinnating gives false sense of protection.
sex, love and you, making the right decision
7 habits of highly effective teens.
18:22 Posted in Quotes | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this | Tags: notes, abstinence education
What difference does technology and science make in the abortion debate?
The British Parliament recently rejected the argument to reduce the upper limit of abortion for non disabled children, despite reports that babies have a greater chance of surviving before 24 weeks. Dawn Primarolo, the health minister, essentially argued that there was no evidence that technology had made a difference to the abortion debate.[1]
There have been extensive changes in the medical and scientific understanding of the development of the unborn child since 1967. We now have a greater knowledge of the damaging psychological impact of abortion[2], and with this we should examine the provisions that surround abortion in order to allow women to address to issues and be fully aware of the nature and consequences of abortion. Nine out of ten MPs favour a continuous review of the law in the light of new medical discoveries.
Other studies have shown evidence of the foetal pain of abortion,[3] an improvement in survival rates for those born before 24 weeks[4] and a link between abortion and breast cancer.[5] Some of these studies have been disputed, but more and more studies continue to validate these links. Many politicians and experts, including the House of Commons select committee,[6] have preferred to overlook this evidence, rather than consider the developing medical consensus of the damage of abortion to both the unborn child and the mother.
I believe that abortion is the most important and contentious issue our country faces because every year, 200,000 unborn children die by induced abortion, when they do not have the ability to defend themselves. These children, who have the dignity of being members of the human race, do not have the ability to speak for themselves. It looks like the British parliament has no interest in their cause: in the last 18 years in parliament, more than 700 hours were spent debating foxhunting legislation whereas just 3 hours were spent seriously debating the value of unborn children!
Yet it is undeniable that technology has made a phenomenal difference to the abortion debate. Professor Stuart Campbell has created 3D images of babies that have struck hearts and minds helping us to see the human face of the unborn babies.[7] His pictures show babies in the womb sucking their thumb, yawning and smiling. This has helped to communicate the human nature of the foetus- a convincing counter argument for those who just believe it to be a clump of cells. Modern technology has helped us to visualise what normally is hidden inside the womb, helping us to see that a baby inside the womb is not terribly dissimilar to one outside the womb.
Doctor Bernard Nathanson has used the technology of broadcasting to show action and reaction inside the womb. The film shows how a baby, just prior to being aborted, gives to considerable stressful signs and attempts to avoid being attacked by the tools of the abortionist.[8] The film compelling shows how human life is present in the womb and can even struggle to live and communicate inside the womb. This caused a radical change in heart for Doctor Bernard from being ardently pro choice to firmly pro life and his film has changed the hearts of thousands of others.
With such comprehensive legislation preventing discrimination of this disabled in society, why should we be allowed to discriminate in the womb but not on the pavement? In allowing abortion up to and during birth for "serious disability," the Abortion Act is at variance with The Disability Discrimination Act, which aims to end discrimination against the disabled. The Disability Rights Commission has questioned the discriminatory nature of our abortion legislation. Many are still unaware that abortion is still a crime in this country because it has only been partially decriminalised.
Above all, a new sexual revolution needs to occur before abortion diminishes in the western world. This will happen through the rediscovery of modesty and chastity as joyful ways of life. The discovery of compassionate alternatives need to be provided, such as housing, adoption and counselling for those involved in this trauma. Abortion is a tragedy, yet there is healing, compassion, mercy and forgiveness for those who have had this terrible experience.
[1]http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/7059169.stm
[2] Abortion has been shown to be damaging to mental health. Fergusson D et al. Abortion in young women and subsequent mental health. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry. 2006; 47(1): 16-24. Reardon DC et al. Psychiatric admissions of low-income women following abortion and childbirth. Canadian Medical Association Journal. 2003; 168 (10): 1253-6 Coleman PK et al. State-funded abortions versus deliveries: a comparison of outpatient mental health claims over 4 years. American Journal Orthopsychiatry. 2002; 72,1: 141-152. Coleman PK et al. A history of induced abortion in relation to substance use during subsequent pregnancies carried to term. American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology. 2002; 187,6: 1673-1678
[3]Anand KJS et al. Neurodevelopmental Changes of Fetal Pain. Seminars in Perinatology. 2007; 31:275-282.
[4] Hoekstra RE et al. Survival and long-term neurodevelopmental outcome of extremely premature infants born at 23-26 weeks gestational age at a tertiary centre. Pediatrics. 2004; 113: e1-e6. Riley K et al. Changes in survival and neurodevelopmental outcome in 22 to 25 weeks gestation infants over a 20 year period (abstract). European Society for Pediatric Research, Annual Scientific Meeting. 2004
[5]Brind J et al. Induced abortion as an independent risk factor for breast cancer: a comprehensive review and meta-analysis. J. Epidemiology and Community Health. 1997; 50:465-467
[6]http://hfebill.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=category§ionid=5&id=20&Itemid=32
[7] http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/3846525.stm
[8] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjNo_0cW-ek
18:21 Posted in articles | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this | Tags: abortion, science, politics
Does abstinence education work?
Does Abstinence education work?
There are many positive effects of abstinence education. Abstinence education helps to reduce STDs, decrease teenage pregnancy, improve emotional health, improve socio economic background and increase the probability of a stable marriage. The evidence that abstinence education works is robust and plentiful. The national abstinence education association has identified 10 studies that show the effectiveness of those working in this field.[1] These studies show that abstinence education is effective with students and contributes towards a decrease in unwanted teenage pregnancy.
Some of the studies criticising abstinence education, such as the Mathematica study, were flawed in their methodology and tainted with ideology. Abstinence for some is seen as an ineffective, intolerant construction of radical right that uses fear and shame to promote religious ideology. Nothing could be further from the truth. Some members of the sexual revolution generation of the 1960s, most likely those who frolicked around in the grass at Woodstock, have failed to notice that some sexually transmitted diseases are deadly and others can leave you permanently infertile.
Abstinence education helps to improve academic results. A national longitudinal survey of adolescent health showed that delayed teenage sex activity had a considerable influence on college attendance and graduation. The graduation rate was 42.5% for abstinent teens (teens who did not have sex before 18) compared to 22.6% for sexually active teens. This is a truly astonishing statistic!
To learn about saving sex until marriage is to be helped on the pathway towards a successful marriage. Marriage breakdown costs the government billions of pounds every year. The high costs are due to anti poverty, criminal justice and education programs, through lower levels of taxes paid by individuals whose productivity has been negatively affected through childhood poverty and family fragmentation. One study estimated that marriage breakdown in the USA cost taxpayers $112 billion a year. It identified national, state and local costs which accounted for more than $1 trillion in the last decade.[2]
To tell young people that they are unable to control their sexual urges is to treat them like animals. This is patronising, ideologically based and devalues young people. There is a basis of betrayal in believing young people are going to do it anyway. If you expect more out of young people you will get more out of them. Condoms encourage and reinforce behaviour under different risk conditions rather than encourage a change of behaviour towards abstinence and faithful monogamy.[3] This lulls teenagers into a false sense of security as condoms do not provide sufficient protection against most STDs. In the words of Jerry Springer, “Teenagers have no business having sex at all.” It is my hope that chastity is making some kind of comeback and that it is spreading through popular culture. It’s now going to be cool to be a virgin.
18:18 Posted in articles | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this | Tags: abstinence, chastity, education