Rob Colquhoun

Parents are educators because they are parents (Gaudium et Spes 16). They are the first witnesses for their children as their guardians of freedom. Parents have the original, primary and inalienable obligation to be the principal and primary educators of their children. Their desires for religious convictions should be respected and education should be in conformity with their religious convictions. Parents should be able to train their children to have a responsible use of the media. The Church can offer assistance with the education of children but it should never unnecessarily usurp the role of principal educator. As the family is the arena for the formation of persons, the continuity of society depends on its strength.

 

In the United Kingdom certain cases have arisen whereby this self evident truth has been dismissed as anachronistic. Government guidelines allowing doctors to provide abortion advice or contraceptives to young people without their parent’s knowledge has been approved by the department of health. Sue Axon from Manchester lost her case in the high court in 2005 attempted to ensure parents are allowed to know. Victoria Gillick attempted to overturn DHSS guidelines in 1980 about the provision of confidential contraceptive treatment. Her case was dismissed in 1983, only to be overturned by an appeal court. But in 1985 the Lords upheld the right of doctors to prescribe contraceptives to girls under 16, without the consent of parents. It is sheer arrogance to presume that parents are not the best people to provide advice on contraceptives, STDs and abortion, and important that parents should be given rights over information for their families.  

The national abstinence clearinghouse, and American organisation committed to promoting abstinence education, held a very inspiring and motivating conference for 900 attendees in Rosen Shingle Creek Resort and Conference centre from the 22-25th July. The theme of this year’s conference was ‘gather active minds and watch them grow.’ Some of the best speakers from around the country gathered to bring together new information, network, encourage others, teach new skills and exchange products and services. Leslee Unruh, the founder and President of the NAC, reminded the attendees, “As you educate today’s youth, you are inspiring and guiding them as they become the next generation of leaders.”

 

This year’s conference saw a youth track and a Spanish set of talks in action for the first time. The organisers noted that the message does not change but the carriers of the message do. Abstinence educators were described as life changers, leaders and role models for the next generation, helping young people to save sex until marriage. One of the first plenary speakers was Doctor Tom Lickona who reflected on the ten emotional dangers of pre marital sex. Kim Cernovsek talked about the medical arguments for abstinence from the perspective of a dermatologist. The overwhelming prevalence of the HPV virus was frequently mentioned as well as strategies to increase awareness and prevent transmission. Keith Deltano talked of the need for both comedy and evidence of effectiveness of abstinence education.

 

Many of the conference delegates where aware of the need to develop skills to be able to communicate well to teenagers: dance, comedy, theatre, music, stunning multimedia displays and rap were used to bring the message to save sex until marriage. The news of an extension to the title V fund, a federal funding program to promote abstinence, was warmly welcomed. Fundraising initiatives were discussed by Dan Morgan and Rob Siedlecki. Lakita Garth and Keith Deltano described how to bring a media message to websites popular with teenagers.

 

The conference also included an excellent new documentary for teenagers called ‘look before you leap.’ This is a creative drama and comedy using skydiving as a metaphor for sex in order to encourage healthy relationships. The conference culminated with a banquet, awards dinner and talent contest called abstinence idol to find the best entertainer. Overall, the conference was an impressive way for those working with young people to dream more, learn more, do more and become more.

 

 

 

 

National Abstinence Clearinghouse Conference 2008, Rosen Shingle Creek Resort.

 

Tom Lickona- 10 emtional dangers of pre marital sex

Ethical wisdom, strength of character, support system.

Condoms do not make you emotionally safe.

 

1. Worry about pregnancy and disease

2. Regret 2004 2/3rds wish they had waited. Girls more vulnerable.

3. Guilt. Freud misrepresented guilt. Sign your conscience is alive and well. 70% of those who had abortion went against conscience.

4. Loss of self esteem/ self respect.

5. Corruption of character- treat others as objects. Every choice changes the person we are.

6. shaken trust: once burned not burned again. Afraid of falling in love

7. Depression and suicide: those abstain least likely to fall into these traps. Attempted suicide rate for 12-16 year olds 6 time higher for those who have not abstained. Sex can take over a relationship like a cancer from good to bad. Sex can distort intimacy- emotions and jealously.

8. Damaged or ruined relationships.

9. Stunted Personal development. Independent self identity can be lost.

10. Negative effects on marriage. Infertility 1 in 6. infidelity. Increase chance in divorce

Inability to get rid of mental images.

 

10 rewards of waiting

1. relationships better

2. source of self respect

3. gain your respect

4. teach you to respect others

5. take the pressure off you.

6. clear conscience

7. help you find right mate.

8. good sex in marriage.

9. help develop virtues. Self control, responsibility, good person character

10. person of character will help you to attract a similar person of good character.

 

Look before you leap video www.lookbeforeyouleap.tv

 

sex like skydiving. Mixing sex and money particularly stupid.

Plan and instinct. Drugs and alcohol affect decisions about having sex.

Sex like superglue. Past does not equal future.

A marriage bed later filled with all previous sexual partners.

 

Making the case for abstinence: The medical perspective

 

Kim Dernovsek Dermatologist.

65million US citizen have STD. HPV with 1.5-13% of sexually active adults.

HPV 16 and 18 carcinogenic.

Cervical Cancer cases 2008.

Adolescent cervix is more susceptible to cancer.

PAP test to avoid cervical cancer. ½ of those diagnosed have never been screened.

Men relatively unaffected by HPV.

CDC does not recommend condoms as primary prevention strategy

Genital Herpes spread by kissing, sexual contact, skin to skin.

 

Difference between efficacy (laboratory) and effectiveness in condom use.

STD treatment guidelines 2006. Condom report July 2001.

 

Risk compensation. Increases risky behaviour- resulting in actual increased risk.

HIV prevalence rates in Africa 1990-2001 as condom rates rose (Botswana?)

22% HIV to 6.7% in Uganda.

 

Gay.Bi.Trans. Confused Scott

Exodusbooks.org

Homosexuality about identity and relationships not sex.

Deep longing for same gender connection.

Myth- there is a gay gene.

People do not choose to be gay

Overly close connection with mother/ distant from father/ development at puberty

Alienation from same gender peers.

Abuse, child molestation. Teasing

Lesbianism different to male homosexuality.

Sexual confusion

Breakdown of understanding about gender

Myth: once gay, always gay

Scared of being found out, living in hidden silence.

Typical modern mantras: “This is who I am, sex is how I receive love, I don’t have other options, reject homosexuality, reject me.”

Gay identified/ homosexual struggle/ Gender confusion.

 

Sexual attraction is something you experience not something you are

Seuxality is not fate we decide to control our bodies

Sexuality is just one piece of you, don’t define yourself by it.

Sexual experimentation – only adds to confusion. Never safe for your soul.

Not how you feel, what you want to become.

 

Love does not always have to be sexual, to be sexual, sex is not always loving.

Gay different? Because you are human- you are the same.

You are not alone.

The things you feel (longing, lonliness, confusion) Things everyone feels at times.

‘No choice’ - you have choice to respond to feelings. Don’t let feelings ruin your life.

 

‘Tolerance means celebrating homosexuality’ common modern mantra

Mature people disagree with friends. Tolerating is not the same as respect- means we can still disagree. A loving thing to do is sometimes to say we are making dangerous choices.

 

www.Exodus.to/files/abstinence.pdf

 

Guidance for faith based organisations in partnering with the federal government

Robert Siedlecki Jr

 

Equal treatment for faith based organisations – compassionate care – first measure under bush. No discrimination, disqualification or singling out.

Acting on constitutional guidelines, Direct federal funding not to be used for ‘inherently religious practices.’

 

Virginity Rocks; Keith Deltano

Need for comedy

 

COMEDY- creates intense teachable moments. Breaks down and diffuses opposition and barriers. Complex topics into long term learning benefits.

Comedy reduces the ultimate threat to any education moment: boredom.

Expose the myths: sex= love

                              Sex leads to happiness.

                              Real tough men have sex.

Condom failure rates. Love = unconditionally accepting someone. Dear of not having sex. STORIES not JOKES.

 

Molly Kelly- Where it all began

 

No to drugs and alcohol – but not sex?

Devil wants business and desenstisation

Parents/peers/teachers/media

Positive peer pressure

Main teen questions: how far do you go? How do you say no? What if you won’t be married?

Difference between affection and arousal/

Say ‘yes’ with your clothes.

Sex has been changed from being a noun to being a verb.

Secondary Virginity.

 

Keith Deltano Fighting back online

Media narrative

Internet strikes: Dell, Jetblue

Result

 

Absinence- viewed as an ineffective, intolerant construction of radical right that uses fear and shame to promote religious ideology.

“evidence abstinence works is robust and plentiful”

Waittraining.org

Teen-aid.org

www.projectreality.org

site needs teeth

Mathematica- an irrelevant study

 

www.technorati.com

www.blogsearch.google.com

www.heritage.org/research/welfare/lg2126.cfm

Include studies in every piece of paper.

Weighttraining.org

 

Change media narrative- embedded nonsense becomes unembedded

“Put the kids up front” on website

Parent workshops –advocates

Not numbers, correction, but dialogue.

Don’t ignore, engage with opponents.

 

FUNDRAISING

www.morganmeredith.com

why people give—emotion: love/hate/anger/frustration/greed/

What Do I get out of it?

Thank those that contributed.

Most important piece in mail is reply device.

 

THE DAMAGE AND DANGER OF PORNOGRAPHY:

Phil and Vickie Burress

 

Cleanhotels.com

Meet abuse victims face to face.

Satan created a lie about sex- emotional, spiritual, dimensions of sex.

Porn fuels sexualised culture… makes it harder to abstain.

Tragedy as marriages are destroyed. Women become sexualised in self image

Solutions: citizens for community values. 45 states offence for hard core porn

Citizen Action- ensure laws enforced.

White Collar—selling porn on NYSE

Conscious about advertising www.ccv.org

Billboards: code of ethics.

Not use mainstram media for sex services.

Call Advertisers hurting family, children, community.

95% kids exposed

Computer filter, put computer in central location in house, with maximum traffic.

Power of 1 – 1 can make a difference.

Women feel degraded, ugly and loss of self esteem.

Make a huge difference in community.

What young men think of women due to porn.

Snow on the roof does not mean that there is not fire in the fireplace.

 

Leslee Unruh and Molly Kelly

The message doesn’t change the messengers do

 

Connect with the humdrum of people’s lives with larger causes on their minds.

We must be the change we envision – Gandhi

Change world, also change yourself.

Show me a hero and I will show you a tragedy

Sacredness of sexuality

Sex from womb to tomb.

Happy, healthy virtue. Not just saying no.

Challenging to set higher goals.

Nothing so strong as gentleness St Francis de Sales.

God always decorates our interior if we let him.

Chastity- understanding sexuality.

-         enjoying it in healthiest way possible

-         God invented sex- we could have procreation by shaking hands

Burn out- ego is the problem.

St Joseph: involved in childhood of Christ.

Our God came into the world in the womb of a mother.

Parents are the best educators of children

This has been abdicated- busy, desensitisation. Love entails discipline (self discipline).

Power of pornography.

www.Truthaboutlargenot.com

 

Rick and Barb Wise HIV/AIDS education wrapped in a story

 

Faithfulness takes self control

Heart of a protector best for man.

Barb did not think about consequences of sexual choices.

Giving real hope for young people.

 

Star Search

Adventure with intention mollybarnheart.com

If you haven’t been that kind of girl you can start today.

Put your past behind. Attract real men, attract the right ones.

Character, integrity, self control.

Johnathon Butler: abstinence logical. RUSH generation.

Peer to peer: 1. facts. 2. Absinence no 1. message for safety. 3. Personal conscious choice influence people’s lives. 4. confidence: in decision and self. 5. passion. 6. consistency.

Inject confidence into kids. Be yourself without fear or pressure.

 

Who love can be shown w/o having sex.

Change generation one person at a time (mother Theresa)

 

Carrie Abbott: Sexual integrity, how to see the big picture.

Relationship model

Empower people to be whole in a sexually broken culture.

Sex      -           core identity      -           physical act

Gender-           intentionally assigned-   confused

Marriage-         divine metaphor-           optional/unnecessary

Children-          God’s blessing-            inconvenient

Parents-           Divine delegates-          unqualified

Family- Kingdom builder-         broken

 

Identity: what do I do with that Gift.

How express physical masculinity.

Rise or fall of civilisation – regulation of the 2 sexes. End of line with confusion with gender.

Sanger- matriarch of family planning

Hefner- salesman of the sexual revolution

Kinsey- archdeacon of sexology

 

Reach youth with power, positive message

Power of virginity – moth told them. Role trusted delegate. Parents not doing their job? I’ll do it.- No!

Parents need to be educators of children.

Protection in childhood- made male and female by design.

Built in design for man is to be a protector.

Fertility is a sacred gift with a sacred purpose. Women do not want to be conquered but wooed. God does not conquer but woo- we need to imitate him.

Proof of differentiation of 2 sexes is fertility.

 

Talk about truth- don’t concentrate on lies.

God adopts people – teach children this, especially ones that have been adopted.

Kids to have childhood but to be protected.

God’s mandate for sexual integrity vs counterfeits.

God’s view of children vs population control theory

God as author and sustainer of life.

 

www.pbs.org

what teens want

don’t know what they want –we need to tell them!!

Co-opting

Flyers, posters, tickets, news articles.

Myspace, PR professional press release.

Purepublicity.com purity matters

Clubvarsity webcast events

Diane Harper – HPV expert – vacinnating gives false sense of protection.

 

 

 

 

www.egionline.com

www.cortland.edu/character

sex, love and you, making the right decision

7 habits of highly effective teens.

 

The British Parliament recently rejected the argument to reduce the upper limit of abortion for non disabled children, despite reports that babies have a greater chance of surviving before 24 weeks. Dawn Primarolo, the health minister, essentially argued that there was no evidence that technology had made a difference to the abortion debate.[1]

 

 

There have been extensive changes in the medical and scientific understanding of the development of the unborn child since 1967. We now have a greater knowledge of the damaging psychological impact of abortion[2], and with this we should examine the provisions that surround abortion in order to allow women to address to issues and be fully aware of the nature and consequences of abortion. Nine out of ten MPs favour a continuous review of the law in the light of new medical discoveries.

 

Other studies have shown evidence of the foetal pain of abortion,[3] an improvement in survival rates for those born before 24 weeks[4] and a link between abortion and breast cancer.[5] Some of these studies have been disputed, but more and more studies continue to validate these links. Many politicians and experts, including the House of Commons select committee,[6] have preferred to overlook this evidence, rather than consider the developing medical consensus of the damage of abortion to both the unborn child and the mother.

 

I believe that abortion is the most important and contentious issue our country faces because every year, 200,000 unborn children die by induced abortion, when they do not have the ability to defend themselves. These children, who have the dignity of being members of the human race, do not have the ability to speak for themselves. It looks like the British parliament has no interest in their cause: in the last 18 years in parliament, more than 700 hours were spent debating foxhunting legislation whereas just 3 hours were spent seriously debating the value of unborn children!

 

Yet it is undeniable that technology has made a phenomenal difference to the abortion debate. Professor Stuart Campbell has created 3D images of babies that have struck hearts and minds helping us to see the human face of the unborn babies.[7] His pictures show babies in the womb sucking their thumb, yawning and smiling. This has helped to communicate the human nature of the foetus- a convincing counter argument for those who just believe it to be a clump of cells. Modern technology has helped us to visualise what normally is hidden inside the womb, helping us to see that a baby inside the womb is not terribly dissimilar to one outside the womb.

 

Doctor Bernard Nathanson has used the technology of broadcasting to show action and reaction inside the womb. The film shows how a baby, just prior to being aborted, gives to considerable stressful signs and attempts to avoid being attacked by the tools of the abortionist.[8] The film compelling shows how human life is present in the womb and can even struggle to live and communicate inside the womb. This caused a radical change in heart for Doctor Bernard from being ardently pro choice to firmly pro life and his film has changed the hearts of thousands of others.

 

With such comprehensive legislation preventing discrimination of this disabled in society, why should we be allowed to discriminate in the womb but not on the pavement? In allowing abortion up to and during birth for "serious disability," the Abortion Act is at variance with The Disability Discrimination Act, which aims to end discrimination against the disabled. The Disability Rights Commission has questioned the discriminatory nature of our abortion legislation. Many are still unaware that abortion is still a crime in this country because it has only been partially decriminalised.

 

Above all, a new sexual revolution needs to occur before abortion diminishes in the western world. This will happen through the rediscovery of modesty and chastity as joyful ways of life. The discovery of compassionate alternatives need to be provided, such as housing, adoption and counselling for those involved in this trauma. Abortion is a tragedy, yet there is healing, compassion, mercy and forgiveness for those who have had this terrible experience.

 

Does Abstinence education work? 

 

There are many positive effects of abstinence education. Abstinence education helps to reduce STDs, decrease teenage pregnancy, improve emotional health, improve socio economic background and increase the probability of a stable marriage. The evidence that abstinence education works is robust and plentiful. The national abstinence education association has identified 10 studies that show the effectiveness of those working in this field.[1] These studies show that abstinence education is effective with students and contributes towards a decrease in unwanted teenage pregnancy.

 

Some of the studies criticising abstinence education, such as the Mathematica study, were flawed in their methodology and tainted with ideology. Abstinence for some is seen as an ineffective, intolerant construction of radical right that uses fear and shame to promote religious ideology. Nothing could be further from the truth. Some members of the sexual revolution generation of the 1960s, most likely those who frolicked around in the grass at Woodstock, have failed to notice that some sexually transmitted diseases are deadly and others can leave you permanently infertile.

 

Abstinence education helps to improve academic results. A national longitudinal survey of adolescent health showed that delayed teenage sex activity had a considerable influence on college attendance and graduation. The graduation rate was 42.5% for abstinent teens (teens who did not have sex before 18) compared to 22.6% for sexually active teens. This is a truly astonishing statistic!

 

To learn about saving sex until marriage is to be helped on the pathway towards a successful marriage. Marriage breakdown costs the government billions of pounds every year. The high costs are due to anti poverty, criminal justice and education programs, through lower levels of taxes paid by individuals whose productivity has been negatively affected through childhood poverty and family fragmentation. One study estimated that marriage breakdown in the USA cost taxpayers $112 billion a year. It identified national, state and local costs which accounted for more than $1 trillion in the last decade.[2]

 

To tell young people that they are unable to control their sexual urges is to treat them like animals. This is patronising, ideologically based and devalues young people. There is a basis of betrayal in believing young people are going to do it anyway. If you expect more out of young people you will get more out of them. Condoms encourage and reinforce behaviour under different risk conditions rather than encourage a change of behaviour towards abstinence and faithful monogamy.[3] This lulls teenagers into a false sense of security as condoms do not provide sufficient protection against most STDs.  In the words of Jerry Springer, “Teenagers have no business having sex at all.” It is my hope that chastity is making some kind of comeback and that it is spreading through popular culture. It’s now going to be cool to be a virgin.

 

The danger and power of pornography

 

A modern maxim states: “What you do in private is not going to damage anyone else.” The fact is that porn does not stay private. In 2003, two thirds of the 350 divorce lawyers who attended a meeting of the American Academy of matrimonial lawyers said the Internet played a significant role in the divorces.[1] In a survey, 49% said pornography promotes negative attitudes towards women and encourages viewers to think unprotected sex is O.K.[2] 57% of pastors said that addiction to pornography is the most sexually damaging issue to their congregation.[3]

 

There is an abundance of evidence to support the conclusion that many violent sex crimes would not have occurred if the perpetrator had not been exposed to or become addicted to pornography.[4] There is a clear relationship between frequent pornography use and sexually aggressive behaviour. Those who are at high risk for sexual aggression and who frequently use pornography have sexual aggression levels four times higher than those who do not use porn often.[5] 47% of families said that pornography is a problem in their home.[6] Porn amounts to about 7% of the 3.3 billion pages indexed by Google.[7] More than 70% of men ages 18 to 34 visit a pornographic site in a typical month.[8]

 

Young people are particularly susceptible to pornography. The sexualisation of youth has substantially damaging effects for the personal and mental health, as well as future marriages. Pornography prepares young people to have a twisted ideas about sex, a desire for a source of constant sexual availability and a human desire for physically flawless looks. Young men who are high consumers of pornography are more likely to engage in anal sex, as well as have sexual relations with a friend.[9] 71% of adolescents surveyed believed pornography consumption influenced others’ behaviour, and 29% believed it affected their own behaviour.[10] Many young people accidentally access pornography online: 70% of 15-17 year olds indicated they accidentally viewed porn online.[11] 9 out of 10 children between the ages of 8 and 16 have viewed porn on the internet. The largest consumer of internet pornography is the 12-17 year old age group.[12] It is clear that exposure to sexual content in music, movies, television and magazine accelerates adolescent’s sexual activity and increases their risk of engaging in early sexual intercourse.[13]

 

Some might express exasperation at the proliferation of pornography and its negative effects in recent decades. Yet there is plenty that you can do. There is a campaign to clean up hotels and stop the provision of pornography in hotels. Hamilton County in Ohio now has no pornographic bookstores, no strip bars and 95% of stores do not have any form of pornography. Locals banded together and refused to shop in stores that carried this material leading elected officials to pass strict regulations and law officers to enforce existing laws.

 

Phil and Vickie Burress are doing tremendous work to help reduce the impact of pornography, to help people break free of sexual struggles and addiction and let women involved in relationship with men using porn that it is not their fault. Some groups such a citizens for community values have ensured that the mainstream media is not used for sex services. Meeting victims face to face is a poignant way to realise the full extent of damage that pornography does. At World Youth Day 2008, Pope Benedict stated: “could anyone standing face to face with people who actually do suffer sexual exploitation ‘explain’ that these tragedies, portrayed in virtual form, are considered merely "entertainment?"[14] Many studies show that retributive justice is highly effective.

 

Overall, pornography does considerable damage to the psyche of our nation, most especially to young people. It warps and damages the beautiful gift of human sexuality into a fantasy based on lies, manipulation and profit. It destroys marriages, degrades women, emasculates men and distorts the emotional and spiritual dimensions of sex. Yet there is plenty we can do to ensure that the law is enforced on pornography and that businesses and advertising do not support this evil industry.

 

 

Resources:

www.victimsofpornography.org

www.bsafehome.com

www.purelifeministries.org

www.pureonline.com

www.whodoesithurt.com

 

 

 

 

The new sexual revolution

A Cultural Change for life and love

 

In Malcolm Gladwell’s classic book, the tipping point describes how fashions, trends and phases suddenly go from being deeply unpopular to the height of fashion. With an array of fascinating anecdotes he weaves a story telling us about the precise moment why and when New York became safe, hush puppies grew to be fashionable and children’s programs developed a ‘stickiness’ like glue that made them attractive to children.

 

Chastity is a moral virtue that was largely gleefully relinquished in the 1960s as part of the sexual revolution. Partly due to the ideology that stemmed from this revolution, today teaching about chastity has been virtually eradicated from the classrooms in Britain as teenagers are told the facts about sex in a void of moral guidance.

 

But a new revolution is on the way! A new sexual revolution is starting in the United States with the abstinence movement. Currently I am attending the 12^th annual abstinence clearinghouse conference in Orlando, a national gathering of abstinence educators. Speakers have spoken about the virtues of character education, the emotional dangers of pre marital sex and the need to communicate amusingly and effectively the message to save sex for marriage. Medical statistics have been delivered with considerable reliability and integrity, clearly showing the emotional dangers of pre marital sex, the rise of sexually transmitted diseases and the effectiveness of abstinence education.

 

Yet there is still a long way to go. For every $12 spent on sex education only $1 is spent on abstinence education.[1] There are a proliferation of pro choice organisations that are willing to undermine the efforts of these educators on all fronts, from the promotion of legislation mandating a new HPV vaccine in California to ensuring that the 1973 Roe vs Wade decision is upheld in South Dakota. The advantage pro choice organisations have is that their products and services (e.g. abortion, contraception and drugs) are financially self supporting- whereas the chastity message does not have that immediate advantage. To counteract this problem in such a dollar driven environment, groups such as the silver ring thing have invested heavily in merchandise to help promote their message.

 

Gladwell describes some popular phenomena as being like viruses or epidemics. With the proliferation of a great number of STDs since the 1960s, will the chastity message be able to spread at such a similar speed? For some teenagers in the midst of AIDS pandemic in Africa, this message as important as life and death. To be told to save sex until marriage will quite literally save their lives.

 

The success of abstinence education in Uganda clearly shows that with the support of friends in politics and culture, the abstinence message can become main-stream, transform the culture and save a new generation from disease, death and the depo-provera shot. But this success involved the support of the President, religious leaders, the government and business. Building such a coalition takes considerable networking skills, diplomacy, continuation of political support from election to election and sustainable financial viability. In recent years there have been continued successful efforts to keep the Title V abstinence education program financed by the Senate finance committee. Yet the danger of accepting government money is that it always is provided with strings attached and can be revoked at a later date.

 

For the abstinence message to become main-stream, educators will also have to find a method of connecting with teens, piercing youth culture with a message that will resonate with the hearts and minds of a new media generation. Educators at the conference have tried dance, theatre, fashionable internet websites, comedy, film and even a skydiving analogy to get this message across. But as Lakita Garth has pointed out (having attended a ‘what teens want’ conference), teens don’t really know what they want and adults largely determine boundaries and preferences of teenagers. The large number of teenagers and men at the conference is a considerable joy to the organisers, who have also provided a youth and Spanish series of talks.

 

It has been observed that pro-life advocates will eventually win arguments in America because their opponents will have aborted too many of their future supporters to be able to win the opinion polls. But building a culture of life will need slightly more insightful and hasty tactics if a chastity message is able to reach the mainstream culture which is saturated by fornication and pornography. Educators at this conference have shown good signs of building solid foundations for this cultural change, but have a long way to go. One particular problem has been the false definition and caricature of abstinence that opponents have created. This attempts to show that such education is ineffective and does not work. Many of these studies have had serious flaws and concentrate on microscopic statistics. Nevertheless a media frenzy has been created out of some of these anachronistic studies.[2]

 

The critical turning point

 

Yet where does the all important catalyst for becoming mainstream lie for the abstinence movement? It has been said that if you change the way people think, you can change the way people speak. If you can change the way they speak, you can change the way they act. If you can change the way people act, you can change the world. The importance of language, media and thought are therefore of utmost importance in bringing cultural change. Cultural imperatives lie deeper therefore than legislative reform which in theory remains reactive to culture.

 

One particularly successful method has been to get famous stars to embrace the chastity message and articulate their beliefs and views to the public. This helps to create healthy role models for young people who they can follow. The NFL quarterback Philip Rivers has spoken about his married life and decision to remain a virgin until marriage.

 

I believe the crucial turning point will be provided by credible medical evidence for a rational generation, fostering the support of government and culture and having an army of good speakers spreading the message of wait until marriage in every space possible. At some point this will help to overcome the lust dominated culture to help rebuild the culture of life and love that is desperately needed.

Two Ethical Questions

Q1: If you knew a woman who was pregnant, and she had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis; would you recommend that she have an abortion?

If you said yes, you just killed Beethoven.

Q2: It is time to elect the world leader, and your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three leading candidates:
Which of these candidates would be your choice?

    * Candidate A associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.
    * Candidate B was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whisky every evening.
    * Candidate C is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and hasn't had any extramarital affairs.

Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt
Candidate B is Winston Churchill
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler

 

(Apparently the Beethoven story is a slight exaggeration on what really happened here as the story has been slightly adjusted).

In the book of Tobit, there is a beautiful prayer that Tobias makes by his wedding bed for God’s grace and protection. It is especially fitting as his wife Sarah had been in seven previous marriages and a demon called Asmodeus had killed her bridegrooms before they had ever slept with her! Tobias prays, “I do not take my sister for any lustful motive; I do it in singleness of heart. Be kind enough to have pity on her and on me and bring us to old age together.” (Tobit chapter 8:7).

In the book of Proverbs, there is an alphabetic poem on the perfect wife. It describes her attributes and virtues. Such alphabetic poems occur frequently in the psalms. The idealized woman concentrates on her usefulness to her husband: “advantage and not hurt she brings him all the days of her life.” Being ‘far beyond the price of pearls,’ the perfect wife is hardworking, earnest, generous, clothed in strength and dignity and keeps watch over the conduct of the household. (Proverbs chapter 31: 1-31).

1. One day Jimmy wanted to know what he was going to get for Christmas. He knew his parents always hid the Christmas presents in the attic. This year, he could bare the anticipation and waiting any longer. He scuttled up the stairs at the top of his house and unravelled a couple of presents with his name on. To his amazement he was to receive a scalextric racing set. He salivated over his wonderful new discovery and played with his new toys, dribbling with excitement. After a couple of hours, he returned the cars to the box and rewrapped the present.

 

That Christmas day, his parents were particularly disappointed to see that after such a considerable investment, Jimmy did not show the slightest ounce of surprise or joy over his new present- he looked and was decidedly uninterested. In opening his present early he had ruined the great gift, making it appear humdrum and uninteresting when it finally was to be cherished.

 

Likewise, in having sex before marriage, Jimmy had desensitised his attitude towards the marital act, emasculating and sterilising his ability to give true love. His inability to wait and cherish hardened his heart towards receiving the bliss of married love.

 

2. A father was about to let his eighteen year old daughter go on a date with Jimmy. The Father asked him: “Would you let a stranger drive your car?” Jimmy naturally responded that he would not do such a thing. The father then said that he valued his daughter far more than anything in the world and if there was the slightest bit of damage from their meeting he would hold him personally responsible.