Rob Colquhoun

Culture and Sociological Trends:

Teaching sex

For people who will be married one day, it is extraordinary to think that your future spouse is out there somewhere waiting, anticipating your arrival into their lives (presuming you do not know them already). They are waiting to be able to give you their bodies and their love. Real men empty themselves of love for the sakes of their princesses. They are even willing to be able to reserve reverence for their brides before they have even met them. By embracing purity and saving sex until marriage, we are able to say “no” to sex and this enhances the ultimate “yes” to sex when we are married. If one is not able to say “no,” what then would our yes be worth?

Real men are able to control their actions and sexual desires. They are able to offer a better kind of love, and their brides need not worry about whether they will give get Herpes.

Contemporary culture is constantly telling you that it is necessary to be sexually active in order to be happy, but a such a high proportion of teenagers are dissatisfied when they realise that their first sexual experiences were a huge disappointment. Is it any wonder out of the context of love, sexually experience soon becomes boring. Such recreational sex is lifeless and new experimentation and novelties must be experienced to achieve the same buzz? Only in the context of a loving, fully committed relationship in marriage is sex able to express the ultimate meaning of love between man and woman.

The minds of young people are fresh, they do not contain decades of emotional baggage of one serious relationship to the next. Young people might be willing to embrace loving relationships so they do not end up as their parents ended up. They are enthusiastic, inquisitive and occasionally hyperactive.

Yet they are patronised by a dying age of elders who claim feed them lies about safe sex. The message constantly relayed to them assumes that they are incapable of sexual self control and desire to behave like rabbits on Viagra at every possible opportunity. The message is use a condom to have safe sex. What a lie! A closer look at the statistics shows that safe sex is not obtainable by using a condom. Condom use for teenagers is approximately 80% effective. In other words, young people are lied to, as they assume that by using a condom, one is freed from the potential consequences of sex. Was anyone told that the condom fails to stop 6 out of the 8 biggest STIs?

Is there any wonder that we have such a dismal record of STIs, pregnancies and problems with teenagers and sex. Young people are not only lied to, they are patronised that such assumptions have been made about who they are and what they do. But young people are able to control their actions and feelings- if only they were given some guidance!

Young girls are put on the pill, a biological equivalent of neutering because people assume that they are not able to stop having sex. Contraception has the assumption that pregnancy is some sort of disease and that virginity is so dangerous it might kill you. Young people were never told that they should take their standards out of the gutter and there was greater dignity and love at stake at the realisation of the wonder of their sexuality. Letting young people realise the wonder of their bodies helps them to understand their own self worth. When people realise they have great self worth they are able to love themselves. And when young people can love themselves, they are truly capable of loving other beings.

Chastity, a virtue that was so gleefully relinquished in the 1960s, has been eradicated from teaching in the classrooms of Britain. Due to the ideology of the sexual revolution, teenagers are merely told the facts in a void of moral guidance. But when we realise that we must give moral guidance to our young people about how they are to conduct themselves sexually, by saving sex until marriage, we will be truly able to challenge and eradicate the problems of unwanted teenage pregnancy, STIs and the lack of self worth. When we tell our youngsters that by learning self control, we are able to learn about self worth, we are more likely to have happier, lasting marriages and we can be totally free from STIs- then we can know that sex truly is a gift from God and not a recreation to be indulged in for satisfaction.

What really makes chastity attractive is the idea that you can say to your wife or husband on your wedding day, my body is totally yours as we join ourselves as one body in love today. I have saved myself exclusively for your love today. I have not given my body over to any lifeless love with others for the sake of my own satisfaction. Self control is attractive- who wants a wife who is likely to be unfaithful? Who desires an adulterous husband? The purity of virginity shows that we value our own bodies and we realise that sex is sacred, it binds two together in great unity – this unity is for babies and bonding.

Erotic love also calls for mankind to collaborate with almighty God in helping to bring beloved new life into the world. Sexual intercourse between two fertile couples can never fully ignore the procreative element of their actions as, regardless of the contraception they use if they use it, there will always be that possibility of new life. This new life is a gracious gift from God- a bundle of joy to loved and cherished. Every child is truly a miracle, a blessing and gracious gift who we can only be thankful to God for. Cynics would only be able to claim that it is a meaningless product of evolution.

But sterile sex (also known as lust) is furiously opposed to new life. By rejecting the procreative element of sex, dangers are opened up. Sterile sex desires many sexual experiences yet is unwilling to accept responsibility for them. It is willing to do anything to ensure that it never receives this gift. Every time it rejects the possibility of new life it makes it ever more likely that new life will never be possible. With sterile sex comes the dangers of unwanted pregnancy, STIs, abusive and unsuccessful relationships, infertility and the emptiness of not being loved.

But with the fruitful love of marriage we are totally freed from the filthiness of fornication: we are capable of living in lasting relationships that understand the meaning and purpose of sex. This greatly enhances the possibilities of living full, loving relationships without the taint of sin. Who wants sick down their wedding dress? Abstinence is the most authentic way to give to your spouse. Nobody wants to become enslaved to their own passions. We must realise the priceless gift of our bodies, we do not want to give ourselves to others to reduce our worth before marriage. This virtue helps us to tell the difference between loving people and using them for our own selfish desires. This means that we can really experience authentic love later in life.

Every child counts of the charity of others to bring him into the world when he is helpless.

Every dependant is reliant on charity to ensure that he has food to eat.

Everyone in need of serious medical help is reliant that others are capable of helping them.

Every husband and wife are reliant on each other’s company to guard against loneliness.

Society should be judged on how it is able to serve its weakest members.

Through the serving of others, this is how humanity functions.

RWC 18/8/06 

The culture of death is a term coined by Pope John Paul to describe death orientated actions which were a cultural phenomenon (eg abortion, euthanasia). What really challenges the culture of death is its obvious lack of theology behind the actions it embraces. This has been particularly apparent during the Euthanasia debate this year. As those in favour of administering euthanasia on themselves had no vision of any sense of afterlife, suffering and life had become utterly meaningless and unbearable to them. Their understanding of death (and life) was that it was something that just happened, after which existence would not be possible. But this radically incomplete theology of death is so utterly impoverished because it rejects so many theological truths which are only attainable by faith.

It is glorious that the human soul is immortal. Man was created in the image of God and we are destined to live forever. If any other position was tenable life would be totally meaningless and justice could never be realised. We are responsible for our actions and one day God the almighty judge will hold us accountable for the rights and wrongs that we have committed. In his infinite mercy he can forgive those that are truly sorry for their sins. A greater understanding of death, is that it is not the total end of existence but the gateway towards the next. In this context: suffering, death and dying become tolerable because of the hope that we can have within is. This is because, suffering is only temporary but glory is forever.

There are some people who if they did believe in God would attempt to be his consultant- advising, encouraging and guiding the most highest God into the best paths that he should go. They would be able to tell him, after all, they seem to know best about how to run the world and after all, where has he been for the last 2,000 years? What is he doing about the AIDS crisis for instance? “If I was God, I would make sure there was no unhappiness,” some say. But there is a great arrogance in assuming that we might even possess a shred of the wisdom of God. (1 Cor 3:19).

These people are diametrically opposed to the first type of person- these are God’s servants. These people carry out the will of God without questioning or complaining. They are his faithful followers, they do what they are called to do. God’s servants invest their lives in building up wealth in heaven because they work for the top man upstairs. They are God’s messengers- bringing the good news to others by being the good news themselves. God uses his servants, who have accepted his will for their lives, to bring grace, truth, hope and love to the world. These are the people we should follow.

Inaugurating the new sexual revolution

What is Raunch Culture?
Raunch culture is the sexualisation of society- where sex has been totally transformed into a commodity by culture. It is crass and sexually degenerative behaviour in the cultural field and the increase in sexually promiscuous behaviour.

Raunch Culture – Dominating society

Currently, we are at the top of the cycle- sexual degradation has reached its peak. The media has cashed in knowing that sex sells- as a consequence we have a raunch culture that pervades all parts of society. Women are sold the idea that looking like a prostitute is going to make you popular with the men. Sexual references have become more and more explicit, increasingly so over the last few years- now its time for a change. Society does not really want to be perverted with filth through the normal modes of media. Children as young as 8 can pick up a sexually explicit messages – and this at a time when paedophilia is considered the worst thing possible. Children are brought up to think that sex is just a game that you play to use other people for your own satisfaction. Pornography in some ways has become mainstream and this has profound consequences for society.

The consequences of Raunch Culture

Divorce
The raunch culture inevitably leads to a serious increase in the divorce rate- by treating sex as a commodity to be savoured- this has a profoundly negative impact on marriage, as it encourages people to take on different sexual partners, and furthermore with sex out of context intimacy is diminished in-between couples. As sex is not seen as an exclusive gift between husband and wife, the idea of marriage is ridiculed when affairs and other lovers become apparent. Divorce is the destruction of the family and a happy life- all for the sake of lust- a lie at heart. It provides a great wound at the heart of one’s life and must be avoided at all costs.

Low self esteem for women
With an obsession with beauty- only good looking girls will do- this means that those girls not as attractive as others have worryingly low self esteem- leading to eating disorders such as Bulimia, Anorexia and in some cases a tendency to physically scar oneself. Self hatred is a terrible condition- and all for the sake of an obsession with beauty. This obsession with beauty and looks is very shallow- only skin deep. Even beautiful girls (and boys in some cases) are perpetually worried and obsessed about how they to the point of obsessive compulsive behaviour.

An inability to differentiate between love and lust
Treating women as fleshy objects to be desired leads to difficulties in relationships. It also leads to the difficulty in trying to discern when a relationship is based on firm ground and when it is just about having sex. This leads to damaging relationships- which mean that people carry more and more emotional baggage at the end of each relationship especially if they have been used by other people. Lust can provide a pounding desire in the heart- easily confused as love by the young.

The spread of sexually transmitted diseases
The increase in sexual behaviour- especially by young people has led to a relentless increase in STDs, Chlamydia, HPV, AIDS and many others. Few people realise they have contracted such a disease and few know the consequences. This leads to infertility, painful and incurable diseases.

A serious increase in infertility
Linked to STDs is ironically the link that increasingly promiscuous behaviour leads to greater infertility. This is because some STDs make women infertile. The larger number of sexual partners increases the likelihood of infertility. Experts estimate that 1 in 7 couples in the UK currently have fertility problems, and this will rise to 1 in 3 in decades.

A reduction in the birth rate
This inevitably leads to a reduction in the birth rate. One would think that an increase in sexual behaviour would do precisely the opposite. But sterile sex devoid of procreation helps to prevent pregnancy. Contraceptives work a lot longer than they are designed to (especially the rods in the arm) and women are told the lie that they can conceive later in life when the chances decrease considerably.


A beautiful gift sold for a lie
Sexuality and sex is a beautiful gift from God in order to bring married men and women together in intimacy, to bind the love between them and to collaborate in bringing children into the world. In this context it leads to healthy relationships, joy and happiness. The lie of raunch culture is that it thinks that sex is a commodity to be bought and sold, to degrade women, to use for pleasure and play as a game. A beautiful gift is corrupted into a lie for what sex really is.

Abortion
The increase in sexually promiscuous behaviour leads to many tragic abortions for many women- leading to profound psychological problems and regret as well as many very poor side effects. In many ways the decision for mothers to murder their unborn children is the saddest aspect of the consequences of raunch culture. If a mother can behave in such a way towards her child- what hope is there for peace in society?

The treatment of women as objects
One of the most sickening aspects of the raunch culture mentality- is because girls must be pretty young things they are inevitably regarded as objects. This is the objectification of sex. Women are merely objects to be desired, used and discarded to satisfy ones sexual needs- boobs become necessary to be larger through cosmetic surgery to fulfil fantasies and to keep the female attractive. The woman’s body is to be worshipped as a temple of self satisfaction – the person is irrelevant in the context of objectification. Objects are there to be fondled, caressed, abused and have no serious value. It is inevitable that someone who has been to a strip club will inevitably look women up and down in the street just as he has been looking at the girls in the club- women then are pure flesh to be gored apron. Pornography leads to mental polygamy and the treatment of all women as objects to be lusted after.

Gender confusion- homosexuality, girls who are boys who like girls who like boys etc.
Raunch culture creates the desire for sex and discourages self control- the inevitable result is those who feel less secure are unsure about their identity and their sexual identity. Many feel inadequate about their sex and sexual feelings. This leads to people wanting sex changes and also a sexual desire for the same sex. This is all part of the sexual gratification culture, but the origins and psychology of these problems is far more complicated.

Shallowness
Above all the rise in sexual promiscuity leads to a certain shallowness from people- when all are trying to look like bimbos, it leads to a lack of intimacy in relationships and sex is found to be unsatisfying spiritually because the union between two people has been not in the context of unconditional love and commitment. Many people report the profound emptiness after a brief, uncommitted sexual encounter.

Depression, Drop outs and Dirt - elderly single people
Overall, the raunch culture leads insecurity to those who are not good looking enough, depression when people realise that sexual promiscuity does not lead to happiness and filth through the treatment of the human body as a commodity to be bought and sold (previously known as slavery). Above all it leads to loneliness through the destruction of good relationships.

Inaugurating Changes

The raunch culture needs to be replaced by a culture that respects the dignity of the human person, has a healthy and admirable notion of sexuality. This notion would include self control, self esteem, an appreciation of beauty but not in an obsessive sense and a view of the sacredness of sex. This would be a culture of life – that would see sex as a gift always linked to bringing in new life into the world- rather than a recreation purely for pleasure. Young people who have fresh minds need to be convinced to save sex until marriage and to see the inestimable worth of every human person. When young people can see the meaning and purpose of human sexuality as a gift from God, which can also lead to union with God raunch culture will disappear. God said to man “Be fruitful and multiply” and therefore procreation is a blessing on man and his family from God.

Monastery

This program took 5 people on a 40 day retreat at worth abbey and made them contemplate their lives. One of the group had a religious life changing experience. The program spawned a huge interest in Worth Abbey.

Alpha

This course has been phenomenally successful and it is an introductory course to Christianity telling about the most basic beliefs. It is run in small groups and there are a series of videos to accompany the course- leading to discussions and reflection on all the themes. It is a great response to the lack of catechesis today.

Podcast Daily Thought for the day

This was run by Jesuit media initiatives, where a ten minute reflection has been posted on the internet for every day. It means people can listen to the reflection on the tube, on the way to work and it has been very popular.

Da Vinci Response Group
This was a response to the Da vinci code by the Church in Britain- some success came from this group which helped bring good articles in the media and helped to dispel the myths. Some very good books have also been written as a response to the heretical book.

Response to the Mental Capacity Act
The Church provided a great opposition to the attempt to introduce Euthanasia in the UK- burying the Lords in letters and protest. The bill was defeated by 140 votes to 100. A passionate debate was heard as the nature of palliative care tried to be changed.

Bioethical Insanity

Ministers this week gave a clear indication that IVF clinics will not be able to reject single mothers and lesbians being treated in the near future. Fatherhood has been rejected once again, along with the concept of the family as the bedrock of society. The concept of discrimination has been used to justify this latest dose of political correctness. Yet all sociological statistics clearly demonstrate that the healthiest children are the ones who grow up with a mother and father married.

The dismissal of the family

            Once again the government is keen to reject the concept of the family in society- it has done nothing but relegate this vital institution to the antiquated dustbins of society. If the government really wanted to fight a leading cause of crime it would look at upbringing- and come to the logical conclusion that healthy happy families helps to create a healthy happy society. The more stable a teenager’s life is at home, the less likely he will commit crime later in life. If mothers and fathers are encouraged financially, cared for and the stable institution of marriage encouraged- children are more likely to have secure, committed and constant support and are far less likely to produce problems for society. An indirect way to challenge crime, but most certainly an effective one. The breakdown of family life in Britain has done nothing but decrease the psychological stability of children- in effect making them more miserable and more likely to break the law.

Children into Commodities

IVF turns children into commodities. By creating surplus embryos, destroying the unnecessary embryos, providing increased chances of medical complications such as ectopic pregnancies and multiple births IVF is akin to playing God by manipulating life and nature. The destruction of embryos already conceived means that one is tampering with human life. Children are not available for £999 at your local IVF clinic- they are a gift from God freely given and IVF treatment- whilst a stressful and gruelling process for women- even dangerous given the 1% chance of Ovarian Hyper Stimulation Syndrome, turns a woman into a battery hen who must produce as many eggs as possible. Any wonder this area of medicine is the most lucrative- it involves the exploitation of patients due to their own desires distorting the means by which they procure children. Adoption is a wonderful alternative for couples with fertility problems. IVF unites childbirth with consumerism and Eugenics. The inevitable advance towards designer babies is approaching rapidly and this involves the exploitation of children once again.

Gender Games

            With the rejection of fatherhood and marriage based on man and wife united by some social reformers- many are pushing for the social restructuring of society in order to accommodate those with alternative lifestyles. Little is known about the psychological origins of homosexuality- but it often is not an area explored. Very few know about the close relationship between a lack of a father figure in a child and the adoption of a homosexual lifestyle. Similarly it would be heresy in this age to state the truth that homosexuality is also closely linked to paedophilia, that a promiscuous homosexual lifestyle greatly increases the possibility of contracting HIV/AIDS and the self esteem of those living homosexual lifestyles is very low. Above all, homosexuals need compassion, care and not the right to children along the IVF (commodity) route. Again a great truth ignored- 40% of active homosexuals who have counselling and help over their orientation do not return to live homosexual lifestyles.

Lourdes

Having just been to the one of the most famous sites in Christendom, I have just had on an incredible week there.

Lourdes is like a taste of heaven for those who are sick and dying- they are treated like Kings and Queens whilst they are there and the hospitality shown to all there emphasises the universal human dignity that we all possess by virtue of being human and in the image of God. How striking at just a time when in Britain the government wants to let those who have given up on life to kill themselves by introducing euthanasia that Lourdes is testimony to precisely the opposite- saying every life is precious no matter how ill.

What a beautiful city a such tremendous story- a little poor girl searching for wood has a tremendous vision of the virgin Mary and many miracles occur- who but real cynics could doubt the 67 miracles that have happened there. And Bernadette’s body still preserved- how would you explain that one!

With many sick people there it makes one realise how grateful we really should be for all those things we take for granted- health, agility and youthfulness. Its easy to forget about the many graces that God has bestowed on each of us.

It is great to see many young people doing such wonderful good there. When young people are criticised these days it is great to see that young people are capable of helping the elderly and sick. The fact that people of all ages come back year on year shows that something is really special here- as such a peaceful and prayerful place it has much to offer. We can have our hearts remoulded to hearts of flesh and refresh our belief in Christ.

The town gives great hope to those who are suffering or ill- even though they may not have a miracle of their own- just to be grateful for being alive and that there are others to help us. The volunteers can also learn a great deal from the maladies- the grace of patience and peace in the adversity of suffering, as well as the wisdom of old age.